A Doom Filled Trip
by Clawed Galaxy Dragon
Summary: "Horrible, you're all here today." Ms. Bitters growled, looking over the classroom. "Now that you're all sitting and quiet, I have an announcement. In order to reduce misery-induced suicide rates among the student body, the principal has ordered the next three days to be a retreat- to the awful doom-filled beach. I hope you all burn in the sun and die." Dib grinned in anticipation.
1. A beach?

It was hot. Like, _boiling_ hot. Like, so-hot-you-could-fry-an-egg-on-the-pavement hot. Dib dragged his feet as he walked to the skool, fanning himself with a sheaf of random papers pulled out from his backpack. "Gaz….Gaz it's so hot…_help_…." he whimpered, the skool in the distance seeming like miles away, when in reality, it was only another minute's walk.

"Rngghh." His sister growled back, unaffected by the heat and playing her Gameslave 3, pointedly ignoring Dib. "Brain…frying….energy…pooped…" Dib managed, flapping the papers weakly in an attempt to cool himself off. The stifling gust of wind that blew across his face didn't feel as refreshing as he wanted, and all hope would have been lost if Dib hadn't looked up and spotted the stairs approaching. "Finally!" He yelled, rushing up the gray stone steps and through the double doors, and into the air conditioned hallways. "Salvatiiiioooon!" he exalted, but froze in horror as a snake-like rattle was heard from behind him.

"When I was your age," Ms. Bitters began, squinting at him through her cloudy spectacles while leaning over his shoulder "I used to love summer. I would skip through the town with glee, my little heart filled to imploding- I mean, _exploding_- with joy; because summer meant the beach. But then," here Dib's teacher stopped, and drew closer to his ear menacingly "I had my _leg torn off by a shark_! And so,_ Dib_, you are right to hate summertime- because it brings nothing but _doom_. Doom, doom, doooom…" Ms. Bitters continued, repeating her favorite word as she hovered in a cloud of shadows back to the classroom, glaring at Dib the entire way. Dib made a disturbed face at where her legs would be if the cloud of darkness didn't obscure them.

"But, I've seen her legs before…." He trailed off, scratching his head. But before he could head into the classroom at the sound of the bell resounding through the skool, his face became intimately familiar with a locker.

"You are in Zim's way, pathetic pig-dirt!" his nemesis proclaimed at the top of his lungs as he marched into the classroom ahead of Dib.

"Why you…! You ugly space monster!" Dib screamed back, peeling his head off the locker and darting into the classroom after him. Zim was seated at his desk, twiddling his thumbs and whistling innocently as Dib pointed at him dramatically and fumed.

"Yes, Dib?" Zim asked, and grinned devilishly as Dib deflated and merely sent him a death glare before trudging to his seat.

"It's too hot out to deal with you today." Dib grumbled, looking at his enemy from across the front row of seats as other student began to filter in. Peering closer, he noticed that Zim's eyelids drooped and his false hair was frizzed up slightly due to the heat and humidity. _"At least the heat gets to him too…"_ Dib thought, glancing to the front of the room as the late bell rang and Ms. Bitters took roll. "Morla..? Torque…? Willy…? Melvin…?" His creepy instructor called out, marking attendance according to the weak "here's" that eked out from the sun exhausted students.

"Horrible, you're all here today. Just horrible. I was hoping at least some of you would stay home so I wouldn't have to look at your _worthless faces_." Ms. Bitters growled, looking over the classroom. "Now that you're all here and quiet, I have an announcement. In order to reduce misery-induced suicide rates among the student body, the principal has ordered the next three days to be a field trip retreat-to the awful, doom-filled beach."

At this the students of the class perked up immediately and cheered, monkey noises and paper balls being thrown around the room. Dib grinned evilly, looking at his alien enemy's face, which was currently scrunched into a look of confusion.

"What's the matter Zim, never been to a beach before?" he taunted.

Zim's purple irises snapped to Dib as he replied "Of course I have, pig-monkey! I…. I love the beech! Because I am NORMAL!"he lied, noticing a few stares being sent his way at Dib's question. The rest of the students seemed satisfied with the typical answer, and resumed talking, oblivious to the heated glare being exchanged between the two outcasts of the class.

"Don't forget your sunscreen or you will surely die a horrible, painful, burnt death.' Ms. Bitters warned flatly. "Now pay attention! Today's lecture concerns rising sea levels due to the melting ice caps- and how this will cause the Earth to eventually implode in on itself!"

* * *

"Hey Zim!" the Irken heard Dib yell as he walked down the steps of the skool. The thermometer on the wall had broken because of the heat, and a security guard was shooing away all the children who were amusing themselves by playing with the deadly, brain-destroying mercury.

"What, Dib-worm?" Zim asked over his shoulder, never breaking his stride on his way home. If the Dib wished to annoy him, he would have to walk after him in this oppressive heat in order to do so. Apparently Dib thought better of making his walk any longer than it had to be, and settled for calling out to the alien "I wouldn't forget my paste if I were you, space boy! You're going to just _love_ the beach. "

The bug Dib had unwittingly panted in Zim's ear continued to itch at him the entire way home. Kicking down the door to his house angrily, Zim stomped straight to the trash chute, shedding his disguise before he was even halfway there.

"Gir!" He screamed, tapping his foot and waiting for a response. A gray and blue blur fell through a gap in the tubes and wires of the ceiling, and hit the floor with a resounding "Clang!"

"Yes, my lord!" The robot answered, flickering red and saluting from his place on the ground.

"What were you doing in my ceiling….? Well, whatever. Fix that door." Zim commanded, lowering himself down into his personal labs. Gir's maniacal voice screeching "Fixing! FIXIIINNNNG!" grew fainter as the elevator brought him down farther into the depths of the Earth. So deep down, that if you lived down here people would call you "Deepy". At last he stepped off the platform, and walked down the side hallway to his one-person pod computer room. Settling into the odd padded chair, he clicked a few things on the monitor. "Computer," he requested, "give to Zim any and all data you have concerning this…."beech" of the humans."

"Uhhh…." The voice droned. "Well, uh, I don't have a lot of information on it, but I do know a couple of things from having to listen to Gir's TV all day long. The beach is where humans go to relax and have fun, usually when it's hot out." A picture of two stink-beasts wearing no shirts and strange, baggy shorts lying under an umbrella flashed on the monitor. "It's nothing but sand really, but what the humans really like about them is that they border oceans. People go to beaches to play in the water and swim, Zim. Not the sort of place you'd want to go." A picture of the ocean now popped up, causing Zim to wince at all the endless blue.

"But, I must! If I do not go with the others to this "beech", they will think I'm abnormal! Computer! Tell me about the things one brings to a beach, and the normal human-ish items one would bring when sleeping in a strange location- a "beech house," Ms. Bitters called it."

The next few hours were spent with Zim shoving random paraphernalia into his russet colored bag at his computer's advice. "Alright computer, I've packed the "Gogulls" and "Pajamas" like you said. Now all that's left are the paste bottles. So much paste will I need…"


	2. Stuck With You, Ugh

"…Dib?...Zita…?...Old Kid…?...Zim…?" Alright, looks like all of your sorry souls are here. It appears no one has come down with a sudden onset of the plague. _How disappointing._" Ms. Bitters hissed. "Now, get out of my class. I don't want to see your faces for three whole days, so don't think of leaving early- I don't care if there's a hurricane." The kids stampeded out of the classroom, overturning desks and breaking windows and jumping out of them. Zim pressed himself against the wall as the herd paraded by, and then slipped out the door, trying to keep ahead of Dib so he didn't have to endure his whiny squeal-voice.

"Zim!"

The Irken growled to himself as he turned and saw his enemy trotting up to him with a most annoying grin plastered on his stupid Dib face.

"What, Dib-monster?" he asked testily, exiting the front doors of the school and heading to the line of children piling onto the bus.

"Oh, I was just wondering if you remembered your _paste_. It'd be awfully funny to watch you try to swim if you didn't. You claim you're an advanced alien species, and you can't even handle a little water." Dib taunted.

"I can handle water just fine, thank you." Zim's purple eyes narrowed at Dib as the irritating monkey fell into line behind him. "I'm simply not compatible with this polluted earth-dirt water. It's a miracle your species has survived this long, what with its water supply so horribly contaminated. You should all have died from poisoning centuries ago." Zim muttered, hurrying up the steps of the bus to avoid a lengthy confrontation. Stopping short at the top of the steps, Zim gasped in horror while simultaneously feeling someone collide with him from behind.

"Ow! Geez Zim, why'd you…oh. Oh no." Dib despaired, looking over Zim's shoulder at what had given the alien a similar reaction; every seat on the bus was taken except for two on the right side.

"I refuse to sit with you for hours on end you, you, pork cow!" Zim hissed, walking down the aisle and sliding into the seat, deliberately sitting on the edge to keep Dib from sitting down as well.

"B-but…" Dib stuttered. Zim watched him warily as the human cast around for another seat, but spots that could have easily accommodated him were suddenly filled by bags or legs. Zim glared as Dib eventually ended up back next to his seat.

"Come on, move over. You can't have a whole seat all to yourself!" Dib yelled, shoving Zim over forcefully against the window.

"Dirt beast! Zim was here first!" The Irken screamed back.

"Space fungus!"

"Stinky meat…uh, head!" the screaming match went back and forth with more similar insults, until a stomping drew the attention of both boys to above them.

"If you don't sit down and shut up right now, you're both going to spend the entire ride standing. Together. _In the port a potty_!" The hairy, gorilla-like bus driver loomed over them, acrid breath wafting down over the two. After a few seconds of silence, the bus driver appeared satisfied and made a grotesque snorting noise before stomping back to the front of the bus.

"Smelly hair beast…" Zim grumbled, but remained quiet as the bus rumbled to life. This trip was going to be hell.

"Stop touching me." Zim growled.

"I wasn't touching you! Geez." Dib replied, shuffling over to his left more. The past few hours of the ride had been uneventful aside from a small paper ball fight that had broken out and been quickly ended by the ape driver. Dib was writing in his notebook, and Zim obstinately looking out the window.

"You know, Dib, I get the feeling that your planet may have actually been a clean place once- a really _really_ long time ago, before all of you pig-smellies fouled it up." Zim observed casually, startling Dib out of jotting down a note about improving Tak's spaceship when he returned home.

"Uh…yeah, it was. There's pictures of what it used to look like in the textbooks. It was greener, and the sky was more blue." Dib responded uncertainly, pencil hovering over his paper. "The only nice places now are away from the cities- like the beach we're all going to, and protected forests and stuff."

"Irk never had these "plants" or "oceans" of yours." Zim muttered, Dib observing him carefully as he trained his gaze on a stand of trees on the side of the road.

Dib decided he would take a stab at asking Zim a question- the most that could happen was he'd get an insult involving filth or a pig and not receive an answer, after all. "So…if you don't have plants or water, what the heck is your planet like?" Dib asked, bracing for a scream of outrage. The even tone of Zim's answer surprised him when he heard it after a moment.

"Irk is more or less plated entirely in metal. We have buildings and training facilities and many snack bars. And four of your "moons."" Zim answered in a flat voice. "Now mind your own business and stop probing me for information like some…. irritating probe-y thing." With this Zim crossed his arms and turned his head farther away and looked out the window more pointedly, clearly ignoring Dib.

"_Entirely in metal…? They don't know what grass is, or what hamsters and flowers and water are? Just snacks and training? That…explains a lot about Zim. I'd be megalomaniacally insane if I grew up around that too."_ Dib thought. Pulling out his headphones and music player, he flicked it on and settled back into the seat. Might as well pass the time by sleeping, he figured.

A particularly rough jolt on the bus woke Dib, who looked around the vehicle. It was beginning to get late out, and the interior of the bus was barely lit by the dying light of the sun. Most of the children were sleeping, but the few who remained awake were listening to music, or drawing, or talking quietly. Yawning, Dib stretched out his limbs comfortably, hearing a pop in his spine as he did so. For the first time since waking up, he looked at the alien to his right. Zim seemed to have not moved an inch and appeared to still be looking out the window- but the slow even breathing and shut eyes suggested otherwise. _"I thought Irkens didn't sleep…huh…"_ Dib wondered. While he was debating whether he should try to slip Zim's wig off and prove he wasn't crazy once and for all, the intercom of the bus crackled to life.

"Attention little children. We will be arriving at the beach house complex in approximately half an hour. Wake up now, so that when we get there I don't have to deal with a bunch of sleepy brats." The driver rudely said, and ended his message with an animalistic grunting noise. A light out of the corner of his eye caught Dib's attention, and he looked over to see Zim's Pak flashing dimly. After the third or so flash, the Irken's breathing quickened and he opened his eyes and flicked them over at Dib.

"What are you looking at, Dib-stink?" The alien asked, seeming vexed at the idea of his enemy watching him when he was vulnerable.

"You, moron." Dib said, too tired to bother making something up this time. "I didn't know Irkens slept."

Zim merely grunted and did a very human thing, which had Dib confused for a moment- had he really gotten so used to seeing Zim that he was beginning to seem _normal _to him? Zim stretched; his three thin gloved fingers spread out as he reached his arms above his head, and he stretched his legs out as well, seriously invading Dib's leg room.

"We don't sleep." Zim said, glowering at Dib through slitted eyes as he settled back into the seat.

"But you were just asleep. I saw you." Dib protested.

At this Zim merely shifted a little, and reached a hand under his wig absentmindedly to rub what were undoubtedly sore antennae and said "We go into temporary stasis. We don't sleep."

"I don't see how your stasis is any different from our sleeping…" Dib muttered, toying with his music player for a decent song.

"Because, Dib worm. We-" here Zim's sentence was broken by a large yawn, and Dib took the opportunity to inspect his tongue as it poked out between Zim's strange teeth. It was worm-like, and unusually segmented, and Dib wondered how it managed to form comprehensible words without drawing out S's too harshly. Zim closed his mouth with a click of teeth, and continued. "We don't need to go into stasis. We can choose to whenever we want, and wake up whenever we want- like flicking a switch. Now shut your noise tube- I'm going back into stasis for the rest of this miserable bus ride, and don't try to mess with me; the Pak monitors my surroundings for me." Zim grumbled, and turned fully towards the window. The odd flashing on his Pak occurred again, and within moments the alien's breathing slowed and his limbs lost some of their stiffness.

"Pf….it's totally just sleeping with a different name." Dib whispered to himself, and selected a song he finally decided on.


	3. Stuck with you AGAIN?

I was happy with the reviews this story got already- most people don't realize how much just a short "I like this story" or "Cool. This is funny." means to an author. So thank you reviewers :) My other work in progress is _A Funny Kind of Thing_ and has a different tone to it than this silly little story, and takes more time to write due to the description I put in it, but readers of this story will be pleased to know that it will come along much more quickly, a chapter or two a week at least. And I actually know the rough plotline of this story- I haven't even figured out where my other one is going to lead yet xD But anyway, that's all I wanted to mention. Expect another chapter real soon guys, and thank you for the reviews! :)

(Oh, and other miscellaneous author updates will go on my main lookup page. So look there if you're interested to know the progress of my stories or any other relevant information.)

* * *

The rest of the bus ride was over quickly, and soon the lurch of the vehicle rolling to a stop was felt. The children swarmed off the bus, and Dib was knocked in the head multiple times by elbows and bags.

"Oh, _sorry _Dib." Chunk sneered as a particularly heavy bag collided with the back of Dib's head. Rubbing the spot angrily, Dib huffed and picked his own blue bag up from under his chair, ignoring Zim's quiet cackle. After a minute of standing in front of his seat waiting to get off, he heard Zim tapping his foot impatiently from behind him as the line of students streamed by. But nobody parted enough for Dib to even squeeze in, until finally the last student in line hurried past. Stepping out into the aisle, dib skittered towards the exit of the bus. The clicking of Zim's boots behind him was unnerving and the sooner he was out of a small, empty, contained area with the space monster, the happier he would be.

Following the cluster of pupils as they filed into the check in office, the sing-songy voice of a few chaperones began directing the mob of students into groups of boys and girls.

"Dib-beast!" The shrill exclamation from behind him made Dib flinch slightly, and when he turned around, Zim had an eye narrowed as he appeared to sniff the wind.

"Why does it smell…like it smells?" the Irken demanded, waving a hand in the air attempting to demonstrate the presence of the scent.

"That's the ocean, moron. It's the salt water. Did you do any research at all before you decided to go?" Dib asked flatly, raising an eyebrow at the alien who continued to inhale deeply.

"Of course I did, meatbag. I assume that sound is the filthy ocean as well?" the Invader asked, tilting his head to the side a little. As usual, only Dib noticed the wig rise up an inch or so.

"I…guess so. I don't hear anything." Dib tilted his head also and concentrated hard, but all he heard were singing crickets and the voices of the students.

"That's because of your disgusting, inferior hyuuman ears." Zim said triumphantly. Dib watched in amusement as the smirk was wiped off Zim's face by a gushing chaperone.

"Come on you two! You go to the boy's side, hmhm!" The blonde woman giggled and picked Zim up, oblivious to his shrieks of "Unhand me, pig woman!" and "PUT ZIM DOWN THIS INSTANT!"

Dib chuckled evilly as he followed behind, smile widening at Zim's efforts to escape; he wasn't really trying, Dib knew, as that would draw attention to him- but the fit he was throwing was definitely fun to watch as the site coordinator began passing out room keys and droning instructions like a robot.

"Now listen up, children; these are the keys to your lodge. The **large **one opens the complex- the _small _one opens your individual double room." The coordinator paused and pointed at the keys imploringly, speaking as though the beings he talked to had rocks for brains. "If you lose them, eat them, burn them, bury them, or lend them out, you will not receive another set- you will be sleeping outside. And the raccoons do get hungry…" the coordinator trailed off eerily, shrinking down and quivering as he cast his gaze into the darkness at the edge of the pool of light from the lamp posts. Recovering after a moment, he perked up and added "Oh, and your complex and room number are written on the tag attached to the keyring. Try not to get lost on the way there…the raccoons are ever vigilant…" the coordinator cringed again and slunk quickly back into the management building, and the audible sound of a lock was heard, followed by two bolts sliding into place, a hook latch jingling, and three padlocks clicking.

"Ok…that was weird…" Dib mumbled, and glanced at his tag. The tag was a faded blue, the numbers 3-C written on the paper in runny old ink. Looking up, he noticed Zim had finally wriggled away from the bubbly chaperone and was looking at his respective tag. Glancing up at Dib after quietly sounding out the human number and letter of his, Zim frowned.

"Dib, I hope you get lost and get eaten by these…raccoons. It would be most enjoyable." Zim stated, turning and marching down the row of beach houses as the other students also attempted to locate their rooms.

"Stupid space idiot. How could I get lost? All the houses are right here." Dib said to himself under his breath, and hefted his bag higher up on his shoulder as he too trotted down the row, reading the number designations of each house. _"2D…3A…3B… here it is, 3C. I wonder who I'm getting paired up with in this place."_ Dib thought, pushing the large brass key into the lock and turning it, listening to the rusted old bolt slide as the door swung open. The beach houses were really nothing special (the school was low on funding as it was without sending an entire class to extravagant getaways) , the paint on the walls peeling in places and a few cobwebs in the corners. A crude attempt at an art piece was sitting on the scuffed coffee table, the shells that were glued onto it cracked and pitted from what looked like years of abuse and nasty falls.

A couple boring pictures adorned the walls featuring a shoreline, a yellow conch shell, and a fish with disturbingly large eyes that seemed to sap Dib's soul away the more he looked at it. Shuddering at the soul-raping fish, Dib looked at the light coming from the kitchen area- his lodge mates must have gotten here before him and decided to congregate in the kitchen. Quietly stepping towards the open door, Dib peeked around the corner and felt a stone of dread settle in his stomach. Chunk leaned against a counter sipping a poop soda, conversing with The Letter M.

"_Not Chunk…! The Letter M doesn't go out of his way to be mean to me, but if I got the same room as Chunk…."_ Dib thought unhappily, missing the sound of the front door shutting as the last person entered.

"Dib trash! Get out of Zim's lodge immediately!" the voice caused Dib to groan- not him. Anyone but _him_.

Turning around and bracing for the confrontation, Dib yelled back "I was here first! And this is the lodge I'm supposed to be at, anyway. See? Look at my tag."

"IRRELEVANT! Stop changing the subject, Earth stink! Leave!" the Irken screamed back, looking like he was about to try and forcibly remove Dib from the house.

Dib opened his mouth to retort back, when he felt a shove from his right and staggered over with an "Oof!"

"Aw no, not _both_ of you dweebs. No way am I staying in the same room as either one of you. You're a loser" Chunk looked at Dib "and you're a weirdo." he finished, swapping his glare to Zim. "M, give me your keys." He said, and M wordlessly handed them over. Stomping over to Dib, Chunk wrenched the keys out of his grip and tossed M's set at him. "You two idiots can stay together in the crummy room on the right. I'd sooner have my organs ripped out than bunk with either of you."

"That can be arranged." Zim said darkly, and took a small step forward, eyes narrowing.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Chunk drawled and rolled his eyes, ignoring the threat in Zim's countenance. "Come on M, the sooner we're away from them the less infected with their weirdness we'll get." Chunk said to the two-toothed kid, tugging him to the room on the left and slamming the door.

"Ugh. This is all your fault, Dib monster!" Zim accused, pointing at Dib as he trudged towards their room.

"How is this my fault? We weren't assigned the same room in the first place! If it wasn't for Chunk, I wouldn't have to be putting up with you right now at all- some poor other fool would!" Dib volleyed back, following Zim and claiming the bed near the window as his.

"Well if your head wasn't so **hideously enormous**,_ Dib_, I could fill it with…with puppies….and you wouldn't be annoying anymore!" Zim bit back, clearly pulling the ending half of his insult from who-knows-where.

"What do puppies have to do with…? Oh whatever, this still isn't my fault."

"Yes it is, filth."

"No it isn't, space fungus."

"Yes it is, dirtbag!"

"No it isn't, space boy!"

The argument proceeded as such as the two unpacked their things, getting progressively stupider as time wore on.

"Brain meat…duck!

"Stupid... uh, uniform!"

"Dumb legs!"

"Rrrgghhh!"

Eventually the two ended up a mere few inches from each other, growling in tandem angrily. After a while Dib leaned back and took a deep breath. "Zim, if we're going to last a single day in the same room together without killing each other, we're going to have to make a temporary truce."

Zim also stood back and quieted, but lifted his lip in a snarl as he ground out "How do I know you will not betray me? This is the perfect opportunity for you to expose me."

Dib also frowned, but said "Because that's what a truce is all about. I promise not to try to expose you _in this house_, as long as you promise not to kill me, or do tests on me, or any other weird alien-y things. So, truce?" Dib asked, holding out his hand.

Zim regarded it for a moment, slitting his eyes suspiciously as he seemed to mull it over."…Very well, human. I accept your terms. But if you try anything, the agreement is void and I am free to vaporize your ridiculous arms." The two shook hands, Zim making a disgusted face at the contact and pulling back quickly. Dib glared at his nemesis a while longer before turning and heading to his bed and small nightstand, filling the drawers with his clothes and unpacking his laptop and pajamas. Glancing subtly over his shoulder, Dib noticed Zim doing the same and wondered if the alien even knew what pajamas or a bathing suit were.

An unspoken air of tension crackled heavily in the room, and Dib gathered up his bathroom necessities and ducked into the dimly lit small restroom. The mirror was fashioned to look like a porthole, and the shower curtain had a dolphin print. The countertop was a smooth black marble, cracked in only a few places. _"If they only got some stuff fixed and restored, this could be a way snazzier place…"_ Dib thought, picking his toothbrush and toothpaste out of his small train case bag. Turning on the tap, Dib proceeded to brush his teeth.

Falling into the repetitive swishing motion boredly, Dib didn't notice the green head slowly creep into focus behind him in the stained mirror. When he did finally glance up, he spat out his toothbrush with a "Phtoo!" and whipped around, meeting the confused stare of the undisguised alien.

"What are you doing in here, stink meat? Do… is that _rabies_? IS IT THE RACCOONS?" Zim demanded, growing increasingly agitated.

Giving him a flat stare, Dib mumbled around the froth "No. I was brushing my teeth, dumbass." Turning his back to the alien, he spat out the bubbles and wiped his mouth clean.

"Why are you out of your disguise? Aren't you even a little worried I'll go running yelling alien?" Dib asked as Zim propped himself against the doorframe lazily.

"I was. But those contacts are so damn scratchy- I knew I wasn't going to be able to tolerate them for three days straight. Besides, I could have vaporized you twice by now, stabbed you at least eleven different times, and even set you on fire. So you clearly must be honoring the bargain." Zim said, inspecting his gloves.

"Well gee, thanks for not…doing any of those wonderful things."Dib muttered, placing his toothbrush and paste back in his case and digging through it for his hairbrush. Taking it out after a second, Dib began to pull it through his hair as a thought occurred to him. "Did you even bring pajamas?" he asked, moving onto the scythe-like part of his hair and shaping it carefully.

"Computer told Zim to bring them, but I never bothered asking why." Zim answered, appearing bored with the discourse, leading Dib to wonder why he had bothered to intrude on his hygiene time in the first place.

"Man you're ignorant." Dib said, and shot a glance at the alien from around his arm as he finished brushing the end of his hair. "You sleep in pajamas."

Zim raised one antenna slightly, and shifted his weight. "Why? What is wrong with normal clothing?"

"Well, pajamas are more…you know. More comfortable." Dib supplied, edging around Zim as close to the wall as he could get. Seeing the alien without his contacts or wig was both interesting and unnerving, and Dib found his gaze fixed on Zim's antennae, watching as they twitched and lowered or rose up. _"They must be for hearing…and maybe showing emotion?"_ Dib pondered as he opened the top drawer of his nightstand, pulling out a light blue shirt, a pair of soft black pants, and boxers with little flying saucers on them. Turning around and heading back towards the bathroom, he gestured for Zim to get out of the way.

"These are pajamas. See? Much softer and comfier than regular clothes." The change in light reflecting off Zim's deep red eyes in the dark gave Dib a clue that Zim was inspecting the clothing, and he continued on. "I suggest you get changed too while I'm in here changing." Dib said, and shut the door before the Irken could ask any more dumb questions. Putting his ear to the door curiously, Dib listened as he heard Zim's boots click away toward where his side of the room was. A bag zipper sounded, and then some rustling of clothing was heard. Deciding to ignore Zim for the time being, Dib slid off his trench coat and hung it on the side of the counter. The rest of his clothes followed and he slipped into his pajamas, smoothing out the material as he collected his day clothes off the cold tiled floor.

Putting his hand on the doorknob, Dib thought better of just opening it and instead called out "Zim? Are you done yet?"

A muffled "Yes." was his answer, and Dib turned the chipped metal knob and exited the bathroom. Flicking out the light, he began heading towards his bed when he caught sight of Zim. Holding in a laugh, he looked the alien up and down. He really didn't seem to get the whole "comfortable" thing. And also…

"Zim. Your shirt is clearly on backwards." Dib stated, looking at the green skin of Zim's chest through the hole cut through the "front" of the red shirt he wore.

"Hm? Oh. So it is. But, Zim knew this! It was…a test! Yes!" Zim lied, pulling his arms in and struggling to spin the shirt around, much like humans did.

"Also…why are you still wearing your boots and gloves? People don't wear shoes to sleep. That's retarded, Zim."

"Your head is retarded, Earth dirt." Zim instinctively retaliated, but sat on the edge of his bed and stripped his boots and gloves off anyway. Standing up and moving over to his nightstand, Zim stuffed his articles of clothing haphazardly into the drawer, punching them in when they refused to fit.

The clicking sound drew Dib's attention away from folding his clothes, and he glanced down at Zim's feet, only slightly surprised at finding two toes. What was surprising however was that they were hooked like claws, and made small scrapes in the wooden floorboards as Zim tried to beat his clothes into submission. Watching the Irken assault his clothing, Dib shook his head. The alien's fingers looked like his toes in that they appeared dangerously sharp, and Dib was glad the Irken had been wearing his gloves all those times they had traded blows. Connecting his laptop to the wall outlet to charge overnight, Dib noticed the Irken had won his battle and the drawer was mostly shut.

"Zim, I'm going to sleep now. Don't do anything weird to me while I sleep- I'll know it was you." Dib warned, peeling back the cool sheets and slipping under them.

"Fine. And don't you do anything to me while I'm in stasis- I'm setting my Pak to automatically impale you if you try." Zim hissed, also getting under his covers. "I hope you have nightmares."

"And I hope you get eaten by raccoons." Dib said back.

What an unconventional way of saying goodnight.

* * *

Ok, chapter 3 over. I'm going to start chapter 4 right now, and hopefully have it up by tomorrow. Reviews are appreciated and loved, and are a good source of motivation. And as a bonus, I get emails to my phone- so when you review, know that I'll probably have seen it within the following few minutes, and are probably smiling about it. :)

Also just to clarify, this will not be zadr. (sorry zadr fans. Maybe I'll do one in the future. _Maybe_. )


	4. Beach preparations

So, again, **extremely** happy with the response this is getting :D Here's the fourth chapter, as promised. (Don't worry, I'll make Zim get his butt in the water for sure in the next one :p Already have everything in my head, just gotta write it.) As always, if you want to know how my stories are coming along, just check my author page- I _literally_ post updates there almost every day, and I put the time I updated too- so you know how long it's been since I said what. Read and review, because the reviews make me go "Hey, yeah, people like this! I'm gonna write some moar! :D"

Enjoy. :)

* * *

A light zap brought Zim out of stasis a few minutes before the sun began to creep up over the horizon. Sitting up in the bed, he looked around the room disinterestedly. His eyes were able to see every detail almost as well as if it were day, and he easily made out the Dib human sleeping on the bed across the room.

"_The fool actually fell asleep in my presence. He's lucky I'm choosing to honor our little "bargain.""_ Zim thought, watching as the blankets rose and fell slowly. _"It will be morning soon. Oh, how I _detest_ the very idea of having to swim today. If not for my ingenious paste discovery, it would have been difficult to find an excuse to avoid this foolish skool trip._

Zim lay back on the bed and inspected his exposed claws. Idly realizing that the pajamas were in fact very nice to relax in, Zim passed the next half hour simply thinking. He reflected on his time spent on this spinning ball of dirt, a tick in the back of his mind once again pressing the fact that he had yet to even destroy a small city, never mind conquer the planet. His Tallests hadn't contacted him in what seemed like forever, and they weren't answering his calls- perhaps they were ignoring him. Antennae drooping slightly, Zim reasoned that they had a right to- he _did_ blow up his own planet, after all….

A shifting of fabric to his right caught Zim's attention, and his antennae twitched at the noise. Sitting up again soundlessly, he watched as Dib yawned and snuggled back into the pillow for a few moments. Zim tilted his head, wondering when the human filthie's situation would return to his sleep-addled brain. A flailing of sheets and scrabbling at a nightstand gave Zim his answer a few seconds later as Dib snatched his glasses off the table and tossed them on his face while quickly sitting up. Dib looked over to see Zim merely sitting and watching him, and he hurriedly seemed to do a once-over of his body.

"That's really creepy, Zim. How long have you been watching me for…?" Dib trailed off, looking disturbed as Zim just blinked at him. Causing the big-headed human discomfort was always amusing.

"Just now. You wake up rather noisily, pig dirt." Zim observed, only breaking his stare from Dib's awkward squirms as a sliver of light filtered in through the window slats next to Dib's bed. "It is morning. Are we expected to be anywhere at a particular time?" Zim asked, raising an antenna slightly.

"No, I don't think so. I don't want to be out in the living room when Chunk and M are out there, though. Hey, why do you do that?"

"Do what?" Zim asked, antenna rising again.

"That." Dib repeated, and pointed to Zim's head.

"What, earth worm? Possess a head?" Zim responded, now pinning his antennae back. Dib's questions were so _irritating_ when they didn't make any sense.

"No, move your antennae thingies." Dib said, putting his fingers on top of his head and wiggling them around.

"That was an awful reenactment of what my antennae are like." Zim said humorlessly. "And I hear with them. _Duh_." Zim informed him, giving the human an example by clicking his claws near them and having them twitch involuntarily at the close noise.

"Yeah, I figured that. What I meant was, why do you move them around sometimes? Like, when you're not listening to things?"

Zim's eyes narrowed. Why was he answering this Earth monkey's questions in the first place? He _hated_ this human's guts, didn't he?

"Expression. Right now I'm pinning them down- that means I feel like ripping your arms off and beating you with them, so I suggest you stop asking Zim questions." He warned testily, watching as Dib gulped and slunk back a little.

"Ok, alright, geez. That's cool though." The human paused immediately, seeming somewhat surprised by what he had said. Zim just tilted his head a little and raised an antenna.

"What does that mean?" Dib couldn't seem to help himself. Antennae pinning themselves back again, Dib got the message and grabbed a pair of odd looking shorts out of his drawer and hauled ass into the bathroom, quickly shutting the door and locking it.

"Earth garbage, asking Zim about his own superior anatomy…" Zim grumbled, and thought about what Dib had grabbed out of his drawers in a haste. The odd looking texture seemed to indicate they were the same thing Zim had stuffed in his drawer as well- swim trunks. Groaning lowly, Zim dragged his burgundy colored bag out from under the bed and took out four bottles of paste. A distant crashing sound reached his antennae, and the computer's image of the endless stretch of ocean nudged its way into his thoughts. Shuddering, he plucked out another.

"DIB COW! I need to use the restroom. Get your large head of smell out." Zim commanded, thumping on the door with a fist while his other arm had his own swim trunks and the paste bottles tucked underneath it.

"One second!" Dib yelled back, voice sounding oddly garbled. A spitting noise indicated he had been brushing his teeth again, and Zim stuck his tongue out. Humans were so gross. The door opened and Dib stepped out wearing the swim trunks and carrying his bundle of night clothes. He skirted Zim, still clearly nervous about the alien's mood. Zim inspected Dib as the human seemed to notice something and relax, and realized his antennae were no longer in what Dib probably assumed was arm-ripping position. Humphing at the human for being able to read him, Zim's feet clicked as he entered the bathroom.

As the door shut behind him, he called out as an afterthought "Dib, you are disgustingly paste colored." and proceeded to slather himself in glue, trying not to get too much on the floor. While dumping the contents of a bottle over his arm, he smirked as he heard Dib quietly object to himself "But, I don't get out much… and I'm not _that _white…" Feeling like the fifth bottle of paste was unnecessary overkill, Zim screwed the cap back on and put on the swim trunks. The red colored shorts were a most unusual material, and Zim wondered why that was. Wouldn't ordinary shorts be fine to swim in? Shrugging at the weird clothing of the humans, Zim grabbed his paste bottle and night clothes as well and left the bathroom.

Dib was perched on his bed with his legs crossed, tapping away at his laptop. He looked up at the sound of the door closing, and made a face when he saw Zim. "I might be white, but you're…green as hell. You're going to be pushing the skin condition thing an awful lot today." Dib notified him, and resumed typing. Zim grunted at this uncaringly. The idiot humans would believe any lie he spoon fed them. But catching his reflection in the window pane, he realized he couldn't explain away his Pak as easily- who brought a backpack into the ocean, after all?- and he'd need a way for his wig to stay on his head.

Cringing at what he knew he had to do, he uncapped the paste bottle and layered the inside of the wig with the substance.

"Zim…that's going to hurt later…" Dib said uneasily, immediately catching on to what the alien was planning.

"Silence, Dib-worm. Zim knows this already." Zim snapped, and sighed before setting the wig carefully on his head with a sucking noise. The glue dried eventually, and Zim gave it an experimental tug. It held fast- that was both good and bad.

"What are you going to do about your contacts? Your eyes will still burn when you get salt water in them- you can't put paste on your eyes, Zim." Dib said, pointing out the obvious.

"I _know_ that, meatbag." Zim growled, and dug around in his bag for his "gogulls." "But I have these!" He announced proudly, dangling them by the rubber band part. Dib blinked and nodded, but then he seemed to think of something else.

"And your…weird metal thing on your back. You can take that off, can't you?" he asked, fingers hovering over the keyboard.

"No. I'm going to call it a tumor." Zim said simply, and looked confused when Dib dropped his jaw.

"You…you can't do that! Nobody will ever believe that!" he yelled, pointing at it. "It's metal with pink spot things on it! No tumors are metal."

"…shrapnel injury when I was five. The doctor's just _couldn't_ risk such a surgery." Zim responded nonchalantly, waving a hand dismissively.

"That's…never going to work. You're an _idiot_, Zim. But whatever." Dib muttered, going back to typing.

"And you, Dib stink, have a **titanic head**!" Zim declared, standing up on his bed and pointing dramatically.

Dib rolled his eyes and snapped his laptop shut, and dug through his bag until he found his own goggles and a towel. "Are Chunk or M out there?" he asked, tilting his head to try and discern any movements from the living area of the house.

"No, Dib beast- the two pig monkeys aren't even awake. Although, it is hard to tell when my amazing head is smothered with GLUE." Zim enunciated, while tugging at the strap of his goggles to adjust them.

"Fine. Let's leave now, then." Dib suggested, tucking his laptop into its case and hopping off his bed, grabbing his own towel and goggles.

The door to the main room opened with only one creak- not bad, considering the hinges were so rusty that they could give anyone tetanus just by being looked at- and the two stepped into the watery morning light. Dib immediately made a beeline for the kitchen, while Zim popped his last contact in and followed him, curious as to why the human would choose to linger when the two filthies could wake at any time. Zim stood in the doorway and merely watched as Dib rooted quietly around through the pantry and fridge, pulling out the pre-provided milk and a box of….of…

"What is that…cer' el stuff?" Zim asked, looking at the picture of a large, blue, sweaty buccaneer-looking man on the box.

"Ssh!" Dib shushed, glancing towards their roommates' door uneasily. "It's _cereal_, Zim. Come on. How come you don't know all this stuff by now?" Dib answered after a moment, pouring milk into a bowl and dumping the colorful cereal into it. Shoveling it quickly into his mouth, he only half payed attention as Zim picked up the box and looked at the pirate man.

"This man is sweaty and fat. Why would you eat his food?" Zim asked.

"Hey, that's Captain Crunch! Don't talk bad about the Captain. His cereal is delicious." Dib paused mid bite to reprimand, and then resumed eating the little marshmallows.

"If you say so." Zim said, clearly unconvinced, placing the box on the counter and heading back into their room.

Dib only wondered where Zim had gone for a moment before the Irken came back out holding a long pink tube. Ignoring the human's irritating prying, Zim clicked a button at the top of the tube and a holographic screen slid out. Holding the tube with one hand and typing in the air with the other, Zim frowned as he navigated what looked like a shopping site entirely in Irken. Frown disappearing as he found what he was looking for, he selected a few more choices before the screen vanished.

"Do I even want to know what you just did…?" Dib asked suspiciously as Zim went to place the pen-tablet back in their room.

"You shall see soon enough, earth stink. You shall see." Zim said ominously, and tilted his head and regarded Dib mildly a moment before stating simply "Chunk and M are awake now." Zim grinned as Dib's eyes widened and he flew around the kitchen frantically, tossing the milk back into the fridge, bowl and spoon into the sink, and cereal into the pantry.

"Come on let's go! I don't want a morning wedgie!" Dib hollered as he busted through the front door. Zim merely waited a few seconds for the resounding "Thump-bump-thump- _floomp_" of Dib falling down the three stairs leading up to the porch and landing in a pile in the sand. Cackling as he headed down the stairs and jumped over Dib, who lay sprawled across the ground twitching, Zim stopped at the bottom and looked around.

Not many students were awake at the early hour, but some of the morning risers were heading towards a shell strewn path marked "Beach" in their respective swimwear. Zim cringed at the sound of the waves as Dib stood up and brushed himself off.

"Hope you have fun swimming, Zim!" Dib taunted as he jogged towards the beach eagerly. Gulping, Zim dragged his feet in the sand reluctantly as he approached the path. Dreading what he would see once he reached the crest in the hill, Zim took a reassuring breath of air before taking the last few steps up.

Blue. Blue _everywhere_. A deeper, darker blue even than that horrible cereal pirate man's coat. It stretched out for miles, glistening in the rays of the rising sun- which, Zim couldn't help noting, was exceptionally nice to look at at the moment. But still….all that _water_…

"Oof!" Zim grunted as he was pushed to the side by Morla, who sneered at him before bolting down to the water across the sand.

"Smelly boy-girl mutation…" Zim grumbled, picking his way down the path and stopping right where it left off. The beach wasn't an incredibly large strip of sand, but even so most students had pitched umbrellas and some were making sand castles. Drawing a foot forward hesitantly, Zim bit back a yelp as he sank into the sand a little. When he ceased to be sucked into the earth any further, however, he placed his second foot into the fine-grained white dirt as well. Finding that his legs were not in fact being devoured by the ground, Zim stepped across the sand closer to the water.

"You're not going in, are you? The water's probably still pretty cold without the sun to warm anything up." Zim heard Dib call helpfully, and he turned to see the human pitching an umbrella as well.

"Then what was the point of leaving the house this early, Dib fool?" Zim growled, stomping over to the human and spraying sand everywhere.

"For me, it was avoiding a wedgie." Dib answered calmly, dusting off the sand kicked up by Zim. "Besides, the sun is already up. It'll start to get hot out here pretty soon, if the past few days are anything to go by." Dib added, shielding his eyes and looking at the sunrise. Zim humphed and planted himself down in the sand to wait, tossing his towel and goggles under the shade of Dib's umbrella and propping his head up in the palm of his hand.

He was pulled out of his angry contemplation by Dib quietly saying "Wow. It's never this pretty back in the city- there's always those stupid buildings in the way." Zim grunted in response, but silently agreed- perhaps the beach wasn't so terrible after all.

"So, hey Zim, can you even swim a little bit?"

_Dammit_. He hated the beach all over again.


	5. Just get in already, Zim! Geez

"What are you doing, Dib smell?"

The question didn't surprise Dib. If Zim didn't even know how to pronounce "goggles", the odds of him knowing what sand castle building was were slim as well.

"Building a sand castle." He said shortly. There was no need to give an elaborate explanation for this one- if Zim could just keep his mouth shut for a few minutes, he would see for himself. Shaping the sand into a tower as best he could, Dib stuck a shell on the top and sat back.

"That...that looks utterly _pitiful_, human. It reminds Zim of dookie. I wouldn't live in that castle for all the snacks in the world." Zim commented rudely.

"Oh yeah? Well I was only trying to kill time. I bet you couldn't do much better." Dib shot back.

Zim's eyes narrowed. The challenge was wordlessly accepted as Zim began building his own castle. After a few moments Dib had to admit that, even though he still had no idea what the alien was trying to build, his castle was shaped better. Zim stopped suddenly and glanced around, looking to see if any of the other children were paying any attention. Seeing that everyone was busy building their own castles or swimming, Zim hastily reached back and pulled a handful of tiny things out of his Pak before Dib could blink.

Sticking the small objects in his "castle", Zim leaned back and declared "Zim is finished! look upon my creation and be jealous, pig worm!"

Dib leaned closer and finally recognized what Zim had built; it was the Irken insignia, and it did look surprisingly good for not having shovels, a bucket, or water on hand. But wait a minute...wasn't that...

"_Zim!_ Are those the same little flags you stuck all inside my body when you tried to destroy my brain a long time ago?" Dib demanded, frowning.

"Hm... why, yes, it appears that they are, Earth dirt." Zim said flippantly, clearly trying to stop himself from laughing.

"Not cool." Dib growled. Watching the alien's thin shoulders shake with barely suppressed laughter, however, Dib felt a grin creeping up on his own face. Looking out over the water he noted that the sun was still on its way up, and the day had yet to reach the characteristic heat the beach was known for. "Hey Zim, let's build a really big castle- an _actual castle_- closer to the water. It won't be hot for at least another half hour or so. We have time to kill."

"_Zim? _Build a castle with _you?_...Very well. But you'd better not hold my _almighty amazing building skills _back." Zim answered, standing up and dusting himself off.

Dib was a little surprised Zim had so readily agreed, but stood up as well and walked to a spot where the sand would stick for building. "Here's good. The sand will pack well and the water's not too far from here." Dib reasoned when the alien looked like he was about to complain at the proximity to the surf. Watching him shrug and plunk himself down into the sand and begin to form a wall, Dib was blindsided by how _normal_ he looked- just like any other kid having fun at the beach. Well, besides the green skin and all. Shaking off the odd feeling, Dib looked at a nearby umbrella. A large bright green bucket lay under it, and nobody was around to claim it. Creeping over, Dib grabbed the bucket and then rushed back guiltily to where Zim was growling at having the wall collapse again.

"I got a bucket, Zim! One sec, I'm going to go fill it with that wetter sand over there. It sticks better." Dib explained when Zim gave him a questioning expression. Darting closer to the water, he scooped the dark gloppy sand into the bucket and hauled it back, letting it hit the ground next to Zim with a thud. Zim looked into the bucket suspiciously, and extended a finger to prod at it. Examining it for a little while, Zim seemed to deem it satisfactory as he pulled out a mound of it and began reinforcing his wall. It held perfectly, and Zim hissed "Success!" and began to rapidly build more.

"Dib, start putting a mound of that nice heavy wet sand in the middle- we'll need a strong base for our tower of _**DOOM**_." Zim instructed, and Dib noticed the lack of insult only after he had started emptying the bucket where Zim had directed. Making another run to the water's edge, Dib refilled the bucket and returned, emptying half onto his growing pile and leaving half for Zim to work with. Zim was doing an admirable job, and Dib was beginning to see where he was going with the walls- the perimeter looked like it was going to have six or seven sides, and Zim was leaving plenty of space in the middle for the "tower of doom." Rolling his eyes at the predictable name, Dib crouched down and began to form the pile of sand in the middle into what would eventually be the tower.

The two worked in silence as the sun began to heat the area to a more beachlike temperature but the silence was, for once, not uncomfortable. After what felt like twenty minutes of working and a ridiculous amount of runs for more gloppy sand, the walls were complete and Zim and Dib had moved on to the tower.

"How tall is this thing going to be, Zim? The sand won't stack forever." Dib broke the silence to ask.

"ANOTHER FOOT! Then it shall be worthy." Zim yelled, dumping more sand on the top.

Dib sighed, but returned to shaping the sand. A couple more minutes ticked by, and finally the tower was complete. Stepping back, the two of them surveyed their combined creation. Craning his neck up, Dib mumbled "How did we even do that...?" as he looked at the peak of the tower, which stretched a good foot over both their heads.

"Because, Dib monkey, Zim was here to make it so." Zim said proudly, crossing his arms and grinning up at the tower of Doom.

"Hey, I helped!" Dib protested, kicking sand at Zim. Zim merely widened an eye and looked at the sand on his legs, and Dib realized his attack had had no effect; the two of them were coated in sand from head to toe anyway.

"Heh heh...hahaha...ahahahaha!" Dib slowly began to crack up. Zim's normally green skin was almost human-colored when covered by the sand, and he had a splattering of the dirt across where his nose should be and the rest of his face. Zim looked bewildered at Dib's fit of giggles, until he really looked at him. The idiotic human had sand lining his glasses making them look like they were made out of it, and the end of his hair scythe looked like someone had dipped it in sand. The two of them looked like they had been dragged across the beach attached to a horse, and Zim blinked as he understood Dib's humor.

Dib's own laughing degenerated into chuckles when he heard Zim beginning to laugh as well, but for once Dib didn't feel the anger or sense of impending evil at the Irken's cackling. Zim was doubled over holding his middle, pointing at Dib and howling with mirth.

"Haha, Dib you idiot...haha, you're, heheh, you look like you walked through a sandstorm! Ahahaha!" Zim barely managed to get out, collapsing to the ground from the hilarity. "Stupid human!" he added, still trying to control himself.

By now Dib was laughing along with Zim again. "Ha, but you look like you were buried in it! Hahaha!"

The two of them laughed at their respective situations, eventually calming down and gasping for breath, letting out snickers every few seconds. Dib looked over to see Zim with a hand covering his mouth in an attempt to hold the giggles in, and something occurred to him- to anyone else simply watching from the outside, they looked like the best of friends.

_"But no, that's impossible. Zim wants to conquer the Earth and besides, he hates me. There's no reason he'd even know what friendship is." _Dib thought, sobering a little but still smiling. Well, at least they weren't tearing each other's throats out. It was a nice change for once.

Really feeling the heat now, Dib looked out at the ocean. It looked cool and inviting and he kicked off his sandals, whooped, and took off for it at a run. Splashing into the waves, he grinned happily- the temperature was _perfect_. Cool enough to be refreshing, but still not cold. Bobbing with the waves for a few minutes, he remembered something and looked back at the shore.

Zim was standing there wide eyed, looking dumbstruck at the idea that Dib had just rushed _willingly_ into the water. Dib watched as the alien diverted his gaze to the waves that lapped at his feet, and Dib heard his "AAH!" even over the sound of the surf and snickered as Zim scrambled away from the lapping water, panting and looking terrified as he cowered under the umbrella. Dib rubbed at his eye as a bit of saltwater splashed into it- Zim would clearly need some convincing to even come near the water and he needed his prescription goggles anyway. Dad would be furious if he lost his glasses in the ocean. _"If he even noticed." _Dib thought dryly.

So, swimming towards the shore and then walking to the umbrella dripping wet, Dib couldn't hold back a smirk at seeing Zim still quivering from the water. Unfolding his towel and taking his goggles out from the material, he replaced them with his glasses carefully. Everything was blurry for a moment, but Dib snapped the goggles on his face and things focused with a slight blue tint.

"Dib, it tried to get Zim! The water came after my delicious blood." Zim whispered, hiding behind the pole of the umbrella.

"No, Zim, that was just the tide. Its always like that. And if you'd ever try to get in, you'd notice that it feels like the ocean is trying to pull you away- but its only bad near the shore. The waves are fun farther out." Dib explained, watching the Irken unclench his limbs a little as things were explained to him from a scientific standing.

"It won't suck me away?" Zim asked warily, eyeing the ocean distrustfully.

"No. Well, a riptide might, but you just need to swim parallel to the shore if you get caught in one. You should stay in the shallows and try to figure out how to swim first, though. It's not hard- just stay afloat without flailing around." Dib offered, turning to run back into the water. "Oh, and put your goggles on. You don't want your eyes to burn from both the water and the salt." he added, taking off across the hot sand.

Splashing into the water, he turned around to see that Zim hadn't budged an inch. "Come on, Zim! The water's great!" He called out encouragingly, wondering for how long the alien could drag the process out. He held back a snort as Zim peeled himself off the pole, snapped his goggles on, and dragged his feet through the sand. Zim halted right where the tide stopped advancing, obviously reluctant, and visibly shuddered before taking the step forward that would let the water wash over his feet. Dib didn't hold back his snort of amusement this time as Zim stiffened and shook when the water rushed towards him. A few moments passed, and Dib yelled "See? Not so bad."

Zim relaxed minutely and swished his leg around experimentally, but seemed at a loss for what to do next. "Come on Zim; a little farther out." Dib swam closer and said, bobbing comfortably with the waves. He caught Zim's quiet "Ugh..." as the alien took a few more strides, the hem of his swim trunks now barely grazing the water.

"There. Zim is in! I have fulfilled my normal childlike desire to be in the ocean- now I shall leave." he announced, but when he turned his head he noticed a few of his classmates staring at him oddly from down the beach. "I mean, uh...the water is...cold, yes! Zim is simply...getting used to it." Zim improvised, looking back at dib and making a desperate face. Dib merely shrugged: Zim would have to get over himself and get in. Wading farther out, Zim stopped when the waterline lapped at his stomach. His hands had been raised just over the water's surface the entire time, and he finally dipped them in.

"That's still not good enough Zim. Get in at least up to your shoulders- that's deep enough for you to try more than standing." Dib advised, paddling back and forth lazily while he enjoyed the show. Zim growled angrily, but moved farther out. His progress slowed when the water was up to his chest, and he looked back at the shore nervously. "Couple more feet, Zim. Don't tell me a _great Irken invader _can't do what human babies can?" Dib taunted.

That proved to be the right button to push as Zim snarled and muttered "As soon as I learn how to swim, Dib, I'm going to drown you." He resolutely walked the rest of the way out however, and clearly held back his fear of how high the water was to his head.

"Ok, that's it. You're in. Now, just try to lift your feet off the ground and let the waves suspend you. You might need to kick your feet a little, but the water should do most of the work." Dib instructed, trying not to let the weirdness of the situation get to him; he was teaching an advanced alien species how to _swim_. Something that most humans learned when they were around six years old. Zim floundered about a little, and hissed when he kept sinking back down. "You're spazzing out too much." Dib said. "Just let the water hold you, and go with the flow."

Dib let himself relax and bob with the waves as an example, and Zim again tried to float. A few seconds went by, and he exclaimed "Dib worm! Zim is floating!" and Dib could somewhat see through the murky water Zim's feet pedaling in a more natural manner.

"See? I told you it was easy. Now, try to actually swim. You need to kick your feet and arms in order to move through the water, but don't stop floating either." Dib paddled circles around Zim as another example, and Zim looked frustrated at the ease with which the human performed such a simple action. Trying to copy the way Dib cut through the water, Zim hesitantly went from floating to swimming, finding it easier than expected.

"Zim is swimming!" The Irken proclaimed mightily, dog paddling slowly around. "Fear my abilities, Dib thing!" Dib rolled his eyes even though he knew Zim couldn't see it. Literally three seconds into swimming, and the alien already thought he was an Olympic champion at it. Dib merely dived down under the waves out of sight, and swam stealthily over to Zim. Grinning deviously he reached out and grabbed Zim's leg, letting go when the alien began to thrash around.

"-AS ME! HELP! THE OCEAN ATE DIB AND ITS COMING FOR ME NEXT!" Dib surfaced to hear Zim screaming, and stared flatly as the alien continued to thrash around.

"Zim? I'm right here. That was me, you moron." Zim stopped screaming and stilled, looking over to where Dib had popped up.

"Of course...Zim knew this already, human fool!" Zim yelled, failing miserably at saving face.

"Uh huh. Sure you did." Dib played along, and dived down again. Searching around in the mud for shells, his hand grazed something sharp. _"Ow." _he thought, but looked for what had poked him.

An onyx black conch shell tip stuck out of the ground, and Dib grinned excitedly as he grabbed it and pulled it up out of the sand. It was a beautiful find, and Dib figured he might as well take it home; it would look neat on the shelf in the bathroom. Lungs beginning to clamor for air, Dib swam back up and gasped in a breath. Zim looked startled at Dib's re-entry yet again, but Dib splashed over to him. "Zim! Zim, look what I found!" Dib called, waving the shell in the air.

He passed it to Zim with a "Don't drop it." and the alien inspected it. "What does it do?" Zim asked once his perusal was finished, offering the shell back.

Dib took it back and thought a moment. "Well, it...uh...it's a shell? Also, some sea creatures live in them."

"Sea creatures like that one?" Zim asked.

"Huh?" Dib said, and looked back down at the conch. A large claw, some legs, and two long eyestalks had emerged from the shell, and Dib almost dropped it out of surprise. "Zim, there's a little crab in here!" Dib said, smiling as the crab waved its eyes around and scuttled its legs in the air. "He's cool!" Dib added, holding the shell gingerly while avoiding the claw.

"Crab?" Zim queried, looking over Dib's shoulder at the little arthropod. The orange hermit crab wiggled around in confusion, likely wondering why it had been rudely removed from its home buried in the mud.

"Yeah. They're related to spiders, but I don't find them nearly as creepy. Guess I can't keep the shell- it's this little guy's home." Dib said, and gently tossed it farther out where neither of them would step on it and the crab could re-bury itself in peace.

"DIB! DIB, SOMETHING HAS ZIM'S LEG!" Dib jerked at Zim's earsplitting screech, and turned around to see the Irken freaking out, looking down through the water at where his leg would be. Sighing, Dib dived down and swam closer to Zim. A tendril of long brown seaweed had wrapped itself around Zim's ankle and it swayed merrily in the current, oblivious of the pandemonium it was causing. Reaching out, Dib pulled it off and surfaced.

"It's only seaweed, Zim. Get used to it- its everywhere." Dib explained, proffering the seaweed. Zim accepted it uneasily, and Dib winced as one of the alien's sharp claws dragged accidentally over his hand and opened up a small rent in his skin which began to bleed.

"Seaweed? Why does it feel so...so...so gross?" Zim cast about for a word to describe the slippery wet strand as he tossed it away from him in disgust.

"I dunno, that's just how seaweed is. Its a plant that lives in the water." Dib said, bringing his hand up to his mouth and sucking on the cut to keep the blood from enticing sharks miles away.

Zim noticed this and narrowed his eyes. "Human, why are you eating your hand?"

"I'm not eating my hand." Dib mumbled around said hand. "You cut me and I'm sucking most of the blood away so we don't get attacked by sharks."

"Oh...Zim apologizes. I wear gloves most of the time to prevent things like that from happening, but in a situation like this it would be abnormal to wear them. Now, how is it that you are able to teleport under the water?"

Zim's apology was quickly overridden by his question, but Dib still caught it all the same. "You mean diving? Its just swimming underwater. Try it, but don't forget to hold your breath." Dib said, disappearing beneath the waves and resuming his search for good _uninhabited_ shells.

Shifting the sand at the bottom around, he started when a pair of green hands came into his field of view, and he looked up to see Zim grinning triumphantly. The two of them dug through the sand for a while, and Dib saw Zim pull something out of the ground right before he had to refill on air. Breaking the surface, he drew in a long breath and looked around expectantly. Dib counted a few seconds, and when Zim didn't come up as well he began to panic.

_"What if he's drowning? What if he forgot to hold his breath and accidentally gulped down a bunch of seawater? Would he burn from the inside out? ...Wait, why do I care?" _Dib finally asked himself. He'd been looking for a way to put an end to Zim's threat for over a year now. If he was lost to the cold, merciless sea, why should he care? He should be _happy_.

Heart ignoring all his head told him, he submerged and glanced around. Zim was exactly where Dib had left him and he was nonchalantly examining the shell he'd dislodged, fake coiffed hair waving around with the waves. Noticing Dib's presence and then his expression, he tilted his head and regarded him confusedly. Dib pointed upwards, and Zim took the hint and surfaced with him.

"What is it, human? And look, Zim found one of your shell thingies!" Zim exclaimed, shoving the hair out of his face and fixing it back into a sad looking version of the way it normally was after wringing it out.

"Hm, that's actually not a half bad looking she- wait a minute! How were you able to stay underwater that long?" Dib began to answer normally, but the reason for calling the alien back to the surface in the first place pushed to the forefront of his mind.

"Hm? Oh, because of the need for air, you mean?" Zim guessed astutely. "Zim's _incredible_ Pak has a compressed backup supply that refills itself with a portion of every inhalation I take when depleted. Pretty neat, huh?" Zim quickly explained, waving a hand as if to dimish the importance of the situation. "Useful if I'm in space and am cut off from an air supply without warning." Zim tacked on to the end of his little biology lesson, and then pocketed the shell in his swim trunks and dived back down.

"...That's so not fair. Extra legs, a communicator thingy, emergency air, lasers...why haven't humans invented something even half that cool?" Dib griped to himself quietly, startled when Zim popped back up to say cheekily "I know, right? Irkens are _clearly_ superior." and then dove back down.

_"He heard that? With a wig on _and _underwater? Wow." _Dib thought, instantly jealous of what it would be like to have senses that far exceeded human capabilities. He would never need stupid glasses, that was for sure. Shrugging, he fixed the strap on his goggles more firmly over his head and dove down with Zim, where the alien waved at him and pointed at a clump of shells sticking out of the sand. Together the two of them sorted through the small treasure trove, picking out intact shells and looking more closely to determine how worthy they were for keeping based on aesthetics. Dib had to pause for a breath of air five or six times to Zim's every one, but he suspected the Irken was simply being cautious- surely his emergency supply held more than five minute's worth of air.

Once each boy had picked out around three shells they particularly liked, both became bored with the activity and surfaced, merely enjoying the motion of the ocean.

"You know Dib, this hideous human beach isn't so bad after all." Zim said, floating on his back lazily with his arms behind his head as he gazed up at the clouds.

"Yeah. We used to come here a lot before mom died. It's still my favorite place to vacation." Dib agreed, joining Zim in his cloudgazing.

"Hmm." Zim hummed evenly in response. Dib didn't expect a response beyond that, as Zim probably didn't understand what the bonds within families were really like, but the fact that the alien had acknowledged he'd spoken at all without an insult was a change in itself. The two of them were getting along, Dib realized, and even though Zim still referred to him as "human" or "Dib worm" or any variation of his actual name, the usual sting of the insults wasn't there.

The two drifted comfortably for a while quietly, the screams and laughs of their classmates and the obnoxious crying of seagulls sounding both near and far over the noise of the pounding surf.

"I'm...sorry. About your mother, Dib thing."

The voice broke the tranquility of the moment, and Dib slid his eyes over to see Zim still watching the puffy white clouds scud by.

"What do you mean, you're sorry?" Dib asked.

"I mean... well I don't know what I mean, but isn't that customary to say in response to something like a death or other tragedy? Human word banter is so odd..." Zim answered, picking a piece of seaweed off his wrist and chucking it away.

"Yeah. Yeah, that usually is what's said. I don't understand it either- its not like the person apologizing had anything to do with the tragedy personally. I guess its...just a way to fill the silence left after saying stuff like that." Dib reasoned aloud. Feeling his stomach rumble, he found it an excellent time to change the subject. "Hey, I'm getting hungry and it's probably about noon. I'm going to go buy something to eat at that little cafe down the road a bit from the camp." Dib announced abruptly, flipping over and beginning to swim ashore.

The splashing behind him indicated Zim was following, and Dib tossed over his shoulder "What, haven't had enough of me yet?"

"_No_, Earth piss, Zim is simply aware that without you around to provide entertainment, he would be left to fend for himself with all these pig smelly classmates. That and I find your company strangely...tolerable as of the past day or so." Zim answered honestly, following Dib to the umbrella and grabbing his own red towel with a large black Irken logo on it and shaking the sand off, before rubbing his fake hair dry. Once he seemed sure no water would drip down from his wig, Zim tugged his goggles off and rubbed where the suction had left dark green rings.

Dib rolled his eyes at the flimsy reasons, but decided not to comment as he pulled off his own goggles. Reaching for where he knew his glasses should be, he felt his stomach drop when he encountered only the soft material of the towel. "Where...where are my glasses?" Dib asked aloud, patting the sand around where his towel was for them.

"You mean these?" Zim said slyly, and Dib jerked his head up to see what looked like Zim playing with his glasses.

"Hey, give those back! I can't see without those!" Dib yelped, lunging for them. He missed as Zim sidestepped easily, and when he turned around again Zim was holding them on his own face, and was looking around and blinking.

"Dib human, your vision is _horrible_. I could probably see Irk through these if I focused the lenses just right." Zim teased, tottering unsteadily before he took them off and offered them to Dib.

Snatching them away from the alien, he jammed them on his face and the world lost its blurriness. Picking up his towel and brushing off the sand, he dried himself off and collected his sandals from where he had kicked them earlier. Starting for the path back towards the camp, he couldn't keep the smile off his face as he heard the padding of Zim's feet behind him.

* * *

Sorry for the lateness, but as you can see this is a big chapter. I hope I met expectations with it :) I'm hoping for a lot of reviews since this chapter has almost 5,000 words (usual length for ADFT is around 2,300). Don't be shy to review! You can always review anonymously if you don't want me to know your account name or whatever, I like anon reviews too :p And even if you've reviewed earlier chapters, pitch in your thoughts again (even if they're as simple as "I like this")- I love repeat reviewers because it assures me people are following the story :D


	6. Smores Smores Smores

"...and then you screamed at the waitress! I mean, yeah she was pretty scary to look at, but she wasn't _that_ bad! You had the entire cafe staring at us!"

Listening to the worm baby complain about his conduct at the cafe annoyed Zim. That awful pig waitress had been an abomination- he couldn't help screaming when it had leaned over and asked what he'd like to drink.

"Regardless, Dib worm. That..."woman" clearly wanted to eat us." Zim shot back. The two of them were walking together back to the beach, Dib's sandals slapping against the hot asphalt and Zim's claws clicking with each step. Dib had acquired a "friz b" from the camp supply shed, and he seemed excited to use it. He'd said something about it flying really far if thrown right- it seemed idiotic to Zim that someone would throw a disc shaped object for fun. Noting the pinkish tint to his companion's skin, he remembered Dib had also found a spare bottle of sun screen. That was fortunate for him, because they hadn't even been out in the sun for half of the day and the human was already burning.

_"Foolish humans. Damaged by their own sun."_ Zim thought mockingly. The two of them eventually reached the beach again, insult fight dying off as the two of them looked at the now more populated beach. It seemed the lazier students had finally decided to get up and head outside, and the chaperones had joined the mob as well. Dib's umbrella laid untouched a couple lengths away from the majority of their class, but Zim didn't mind- the farther away he was from their stink beast classmates, the better.

Also miraculously, their tower of Doom still stood tall and proud even as the tide crept ever closer. It would be felled within the hour, but Zim didn't mind that either. The tower was meant to be temporary. Its entire creation had centered around just killing time anyway. Hadn't it? _"The human and I didn't fight at all during the construction of that stupid thing. We- dare I say it- ugh, worked together. Why? We always fight." _Zim wasn't left to ponder for long as a shining red object flew towards him out of the corner of his eye.

Reaching up automatically, Zim snagged it out of the air. It was that friz b of Dib's- and judging by how far away he was, it did indeed fly quite well for such an unconventionally shaped object. Zim looked at it stupidly for a few moments and then back up at Dib. He had caught it, so now what? Hadn't its purpose been fulfilled, however moronic that purpose was?

"Throw it back, Zim! You have to throw it sideways though or it won't get very far!" Dib yelled, making an odd motion with his arm. Zim watched the Dib fool for a moment, and copied the strange pose. How the aerodynamics worked with this disc clicked as Zim extended his arm back and forth experimentally, understanding how the air would keep it aloft. Drawing it back and slinging it out, he watched as it sailed over Dib and the human chased after it, jumping up to catch it before it flew beyond his grasp. Immediately Dib tossed it back, and Zim had to jog forward a few paces to snatch it out of its wobbly path through the air.

A smile crept across his face. So _this_ was the friz b's purpose; a game.

The two tossed it back and forth for a while, but when the wind picked up and it became difficult to make straight throws, they abandoned the endeavor and met up at the umbrella.

"Wanna go back in the water?" Dib asked hopefully, looking tired from the exercise.

Zim considered it a moment. He knew how to swim now and his paste wouldn't have worn off, so why not? He felt like being alone for a while and thinking, that was why.

"No, Dib. You go; I'll get in in a little bit." Zim responded, and Dib looked a little crestfallen as he said "Oh, okay. See you later." and walked down to the water.

Zim reclined in the sand under the umbrella in the shade. Gulls wheeled slowly overhead, crying out every so often, and Zim's gaze followed their paths contently. Why was he still with this stink beast? He should have tried to destroy his filthy gigantic head the moment he stepped out the doors of their shared house and their truce was void. So why hadn't he? As much as it burned the Irken to admit it to himself, Dib really wasn't the foe he used to be. In fact, Zim saw in Dib's mannerisms a similarity between other humans and their friends. Was Dib seriously beginning to consider his old enemy his new friend?

Zim dragged his hands through the warm sand, breathing in the salty air and exhaling deeply. They really did have a lot in common, now that Zim thought about it. And was that so terrible? Invaders needed no one. But, for once, perhaps it would be nice to have someone.

"Hey Zim, are you coming in or what?" Dib's impatient yell caused Zim to pick his head up and observe the human bobbing in the water and waving. Zim smiled as he grabbed his goggles and stood up. He'd only been laying under the umbrella for all of five minutes, the impatient little smell beast! Shrugging, he pulled his goggles on. It felt nice to have someone actually wanting you around.

* * *

"You're more red than an angry Sploodenian, human." Zim ginned wickedly as he looked at his crispy friend. Yes, the term _friend _had begun to seem acceptable to him now. Amusing that the very notion would have had him vomiting a mere week ago- incredible, the changes being forced to live in a small space with someone for a few days could make.

"Shut up. I think you got too much sun too- you're darker green than you normally are. If it starts to hurt later, that means you're just as sunburnt as me. And you DIDN'T put on sunscreen- at least _I_ did." Dib retorted, crossing his arms with a huff. They had merely swam the rest of the day away, talking and sharing company like any normal pair of friends would, and now the sky was quickly darkening. A counselor had come onto the beach with a megaphone at one point and announced a bonfire and games in the clearing behind lodge A-3, and Zim and Dib had merely shared a glance to determine whether to go or not- and the answer was unanimously "Sure, why not."

So now the two of them were in their room, Dib taking a quick shower in the bathroom while Zim perched on his bed trying to unfuse his head from his wig. Gritting his teeth, he pulled and cursed when it unstuck a little more. It was almost off by now, but his antennae were still stuck to the inside of it. Gingerly reaching up, he carefully pulled the wig off slowly, hissing as his antennae were finally freed. His idea for keeping his wig on in the ocean might have been painful, but it had worked marvelously for how impromptu the solution had been. Rubbing the abused black stalks soothingly, he thanked the humans' express shipping service in anticipation of the package he expected by tomorrow.

Dib had finally finished in the bathroom, and he stepped out in his normal attire albeit without his trench coat and with dripping, half-assedly dried hair.

Catching sight of the alien without his fake hair piece on, Dib did a double take before saying "Its weird seeing you without your wig but still wearing your contacts." Zim merely blinked at him, replying "And it is strange seeing you the color of a lobster." Dib rolled his eyes, and walked over to his bed and pulled out his laptop. "Go and at least rinse off. You don't want to go to sleep later all sticky with dried salt- that's yucky." he advised, squinting at the light coming from the screen.

Zim grunted in annoyance, but stood up and popped out his contacts and put them on his nightstand with the accursed wig, and pulled out a clean uniform and trudged to the bathroom. Shutting the door and tossing his clothes on the counter he showered quickly, noticing that the Dib creature was right- the gritty feel of the dried salt was gone. Stepping out of the shower after drip drying a moment, he pulled on his invader uniform. Wearing the light swim trunks for the entire day had gotten Zim used to the odd and airy way they felt, and his uniform felt uncomfortably warm by comparison.

Tossing the trunks over the rack in the front of the shower to dry with Dib's, he left the bathroom and sighed at the cooler, less humid air of the double bedroom.

"You're seriously wearing that?" Dib asked, looking Zim up and down.

"Yes?" The Irken responded, unsure of what Dib meant by that statement.

"It's hot out though. Why would you wear that in this weather? Even I'm not wearing my trench coat." Dib elaborated, gesturing at the long sleeves and collar of the uniform.

"This is all I packed, Dib smell. It is the standard issue Irken uniform." Zim answered, rubbing at his slightly irritated eyes. He looked up when Dib sighed and shook his head and began rifling through his bag.

"Here, take this spare shirt I brought. Its red, and way lighter than that thing you've got on." Dib said, throwing the shirt at Zim. It landed on the Irken's face, and he scrabbled at it to get it off. Holding it out and inspecting it, Zim eventually nodded.

"I suppose this will do for now. Thank you, Dib friend." Zim said, marching into the bathroom to put the plain red t-shirt on in place of his usual uniform top.

"Dib...friend?" He heard the human ask himself through the door as he tugged the shirt over his head. A couple seconds later Zim heard him add "Well... I guess he's right." and the Irken smiled. Stepping out of the bathroom once again, Zim watched Dib look up from his typing and nod briefly at the Irken's change in clothing before going back to tapping the keys. Zim noted the ever darkening sky, and headed over to his nightstand and picked up his wig. It was frayed looking from the saltwater, but had somehow retained most of its shape. Oh well, he'd only have to put up with it for a little longer. At least it wouldn't be _glued to his cranium _this time.

Clicking his claws on the floor impatiently at the Dib, the repetitive tap-tap, tap-tap, tap-tap drew the human's attention. Dib looked up, and seeing the alien's twitching antennae and clearly irritated countenance, he clicked a few buttons frantically and shut the computer's lid.

"I was only emailing Gaz, geez Zim." Dib said hastily, tucking the laptop under his bed and stepping towards the door.

"The human with her hands growing into her game system has email...?" Zim asked in disbelief, putting the wig on his head and popping his contacts in regretfully as he followed Dib out into the living room, feeling the eyes of the creepy fish painting following him the whole way.

"Well, she doesn't check it every single day, but yeah. She knows how to work a computer- I'm her brother after all." Dib answered, stepping outside into the mild night air and picking his way carefully down the steps this time. The two of them walked down the rows of beach houses, and once they reached A-3, turned and followed the dirt path towards the glow of the bonfire.

"Human, what does one do at a bonfire?" Zim asked before they were about to leave the path and break through the treeline to join the group.

"You'll see. Come on." Dib replied enigmatically, seeming excited as they finally saw the stack of logs aflame and their classmates talking and roasting marshmallows around it.

An almost empty log sat near the back of the fire, only occupied by Gretchen and that one pale screaming kid. Gretchen seemed happy enough, and even the screaming child held a quivering stick with an odd white object at the end of it into the fire.

"Hey, do you guys mind if we sit-"

"WAAHAAAAAAAA!" Dib's question was interrupted by a shrill scream as the child dropped his stick into the fire and took off running into the woods. The sound of snarls echoed from the darkness, and Dib and Zim shared a fearful look- _the raccoons_.

"Sure, you can thit here. Fish boy is thtill thwimming. He took to the water pretty fast- I haven't theen him since." Gretchen said in her awkward voice, garbled by her braces.

"Where did everybody get all the stuff to make smores with?" Dib asked, waving Zim off when the Irken began to ask what smores were.

"Over there. The counthelors and chaperones are pathing them out." Gretchen lisped, pointing to where a couple of kids accepted a bag of marshmallows, graham crackers, and a huge chocolate bar from a grinning lady.

"Thanks." Dib said, tugging Zim with him to the free food.

"Would you like a yummy chocolate bar, little boys?" The same chaperone that had forcibly picked up and moved Zim when they'd first arrived leaned forward happily, chocolate bar in her open hand.

"Yes please." Dib said politely, snickering to himself when Zim stood behind him to avoid being seen by the hated lady. Taking the candy, Dib moved down the line and received graham crackers and marshmallows as well. He heard Zim snort at the thank you's he gave each person and elbowed the alien, satisfied at hearing the "whush" of breath when he hit home. Walking back to the log with Zim following slightly bent over and holding his middle, he sat down and ripped open the bag of marshmallows and crackers. Passing the chocolate bar to Zim to peel open, he searched around for a good stick to spear one of the giant fluffy marshmallows upon.

Finding one a few feet away, Dib leaned as far back as he could without getting up and pawed the stick closer. Making sure it wouldn't snap too easily and brushing the dirt off, he burned the tip briefly in the fire to sterilize it and poked a marshmallow on it and held the implement over the open flames. Gretchen sat at the end of the log on his right also making a smore, and Zim sat to his left, watching him intently.

"What are you doing, Dib beast?" Zim asked, looking perplexed at the fact that Dib was melting what appeared to be perfectly good Earth food on a stick scavenged off the ground.

"Making a smore." Dib said, turning the stick slowly as the marshmallow gradually became a golden brown color.

"What is-"

"Shh." Dib effectively shushed the alien, but his success only lasted an instant as Zim's surprise wore off.

"How dare you attempt to silence ZIM! Zim will talk all he wishes!" The Irken screeched defiantly. He fell silent and resorted to glaring, however, when he failed to get a rise from Dib and Gretchen gave him a bewildered look.

"Zim, get out two graham crackers and break off a small piece of that chocolate. Don't ask why- just do it." Dib said, pulling the marshmallow away from the fire and examining it.

Grumbling, Zim reached into the plastic and did as Dib asked, holding out the requested items.

"Ok, hold that graham cracker- don't drop it, Zim! Phew...- while I put the marshmallow on it." Dib directed, smushing the toasted mallow onto the cracker and stacking the chocolate square on top of that. Grabbing the other graham cracker from Zim, he pressed the multi-layered treat together.

Zim blinked a few times as the two boys stared at the creation Dib was proudly holding. "...Human? What does it do now?" He finally asked, feeling as though he was missing the significance of this odd cracker-chocolate-marshmallow hybrid.

"It gets eaten!" Dib exclaimed. "Well, in a minute or so- got to give the chocolate time to get all melty." Holding it out, he said "Here, you eat this one since you've never had a smore before. I'll make myself another one." and shoved it into Zim's hands despite the alien's protests and proceeded to toast another white fluffy goo thing in the fire.

Sighing heavily when the alien held the smore at arms length from himself, Dib stared hard at him. "Its not going to kill you. You can digest sugary junk food, can't you? You'll love it."

Zim looked past Dib to see Gretchen happily biting into her own smore, and he figured he might as well try it- if it made him sick, at least he knew Dib hadn't intended it to. Bringing the smore closer and sniffing it, his interest was piqued immediately at the wonderful scent coming from the treat. Tentatively taking a bite out of it, Dib laughed as the Irken's expression brightened immensely and he eagerly crammed the rest of it into his mouth. "Dib monfter, thif if amafing!" Zim said through the sticky sugar mess in his mouth, eyeing Dib's in-progress smore hungrily.

"Oh, no way. This one is mine- make your own, space boy." Dib caught the alien's line of sight and waved Zim away, guarding his precious mallow. Zim humphed and cast about for his own stick, finding a suitable one and stabbing a marshmallow and thrusting it into the fire. Naturally, it lit aflame instantly.

"Dib! Dib! My marshmallow is on fire!" Zim yelled, pulling the mallow out and holding it in front of his face, watching the tiny flame on it flicker in the slight breeze.

"Well duh, you just put it in _fire_, Zim. You're supposed to hold them just outside the fire so they do get the heat but don't...well, you know now." Dib said flatly, taking his own mallow and smashing it between chocolate and two crackers and staring at it impatiently, willing it to cool with his mind.

"You should have mentioned that first, stink meat." Zim growled, and blew out the fire on his marshmallow. It wasn't too badly burnt, all things considered, so Zim decided he'd continue toasting this one; just, not the blackened side any more. Holding it carefully near the fire, he waited until it was that nice golden color Dib's was, then took it out and assembled his first smore. Downing it instantly, he flailed his arms and made a strangled noise of pain at the heat, and Dib and Gretchen laughed as his eyes watered.

"Ok children, we're organizing a game of manhunt. If you want to play, you will be placed into teams to prevent any horrific accidents involving raccoons from occurring. Come gather over here to be placed." A counselor's wheedling voice announced over the sound of the students talking, and the spindly man stood by a tree expectantly while children dashed up to take part in the game.

Zim and Dib glared competitively at each other, smores forgotten; the challenge was on.

* * *

I was super happy with all the reviews I got for the last chapter! I'm glad people like this so much- and all you repeat reviewers make me ecstatic; I love seeing pennames I know pop up again and again :D Ironically enough, I'm going to the beach tomorrow, so I won't be writing then- but I'm awake at 4 in the morning now to give you guys this update before I go have fun in the sun. So, enjoy :)

And please review, because I **love** hearing from you guys. (Yes, people who fave my stories and run, I know when you do that! And I love the fact you favorited it, but I'd like to hear from you personally as well. You should think about dropping me a review one of these chapters, yeesss? c: )


	7. Diminutive Champions of Manhunt

"I'm going to hunt you down and defeat you, filthy dirt human." Zim hissed as they were assigned to teams.

"Nu uh! I'm gonna beat _you_!" Dib protested, accepting the blue mesh jersey he was handed by a counselor.

"Junky worm beast. You can barely see in the daytime- what makes you think I won't be able to find you in the dead of night?" Zim threatened quietly, gesturing to the darkness of the surrounding forest.

"Because I'm resourceful, and you're a blundering idiot." Dib shot back, joining the group of children wearing blue as Zim stalked off with those garbed in red.

Ah, now this was more like old times. How nostalgic.

"The forest limits are signified by a yellow nylon rope attached to posts at regular intervals. If you get lost, just keep walking until you find one and follow it back here. I'm going to pull a color out of this bag to decide which team is to be hunted; all the other teams will be the hunters. Each round lasts only ten minutes." The lanky young counselor from the day before called above the clamor, which quickly subsided in anticipation. Shuffling his arm around inside the small brown bag for a little while, the man drew out a blue piece of cloth.

"Blue team, you have eight minutes to hide. I suggest you start running for your lives. Now." the counselor said, looking warily at the shadows at the edge of the fire.

"Wha...but...but, what about the raccoons?" Dib stammered, whipping his head back and forth as the rest of his team shot off into the dark forest instantaneously.

"They were fed earlier; shouldn't give you too much trouble. Just scream really loud if anything..._unfortunate _happens. Get moving, kid- you're wasting valuable fleeing time." the counselor said, plunking down on a log and looking at his wristwatch.

Dib took one look at the mass of students hungrily waiting to chase the "weird kid" down, and bolted.

Dashing madly through the shadowy trees, Dib cleared a rotting fallen log and kept on running, panting from the exertion and adrenaline after a few minutes. Slowing down, he looked around him as he continued to move forward. The shrouded forest was eerily silent, save for the occasional skitter or rustle that made Dib jump. It must have been near five minutes by now, and Dib shuddered; he'd be fine as long as Chunk didn't find him. Or Morla. Or anyone, really. Being found by anyone in his class other than the more complacent students like Zita and The Letter M would no doubt result in a wedgie.

Feeling like he'd gone far enough to at least pose a challenge to find, Dib slowed down even more and concentrated on quieting his breathing. They'd be set loose any second now; he could feel it.

Taking in his surroundings, Dib looked for a good place to conceal himself. He could climb a tree, but then he'd be trapped if they decided to throw things at him. And laying on the ground and tossing leaves and dirt over himself with bugs didn't sound nice either. Maybe if he could find a tree with even a slight hollow in its trunk, he could back into it a little to save his hide. Searching the area, Dib walked around the bases of what felt like a million trunks before he heard it: a collective animalistic yell of war, and the sound of twenty some-odd feet crashing through the undergrowth in the distance.

_"Crap!"_ he thought frantically, now dashing between trees with fading hope. At last something caught his eye: A slightly stunted tree jammed between two larger trees had a natural hollow that was just large enough for him to squeeze into, cobwebs be dammed. Forcing himself into the opening, Dib hushed his breath and concentrated on listening to the approaching sounds.

There was a lot of unnecessary yelling, to be sure. Hunters screamed useless things like "over here!" and "someone went this way!" to their companions, but the entire ordeal seemed to be nothing more than a chaotic mess. Scrunching up and holding his breath as someone trampled by, Dib wondered how much longer it would be before the whistle was blown and it was safe to come out.

Hearing a twig snap, Dib flinched and drew in so close to the hollow he could feel the bark scratching him through the fabric of his shirt.

"M, where is he? He's gotta be around here; he ran in this direction. I'm gonna give him a wedgie and hang him from a tree where he can sleep up there with the raccoons for the rest of the night." Chunk said with a snort, his stomping tread ominously close.

"Isn't that a little harsh, man?" Dib heard M ask, and an accompanying lighter set of footsteps was heard.

"For that paranormal freak? No way. He can search for his ghosts and bigfoots while dangling in the air." Chunk chuckled. Fearing for his life, Dib stood still as a statue and waited. A bush rustled a ways off just as Chunk neared his tree, and Dib heard him and M take off towards the sound with a loud whoop of excitement. Uncoiling at the fading voices, Dib reached around and rubbed his lightly scratched up back. That would sting in the saltwater tomorrow.

"Enjoying being prey, Dib?"

The voice made Dib jump out of his skin as he looked up. Zim was perched in the crook of a branch in the tree next to Dib, and the Irken's dark red eyes were fixed on him. His contacts had likely been bothering him again with all the smoke from the fire and had been taken out, Dib realized. And in a dark forest lit only by a sliver of moonlight, Zim could get away with that if he kept his wig on.

"_No_. And how did you find me so fast?" Dib whispered, glancing about nervously.

"Irken, remember?" Zim said sarcastically, lifting his wig up and twitching his antennae briefly before replacing it. "I could find you by hearing alone, nevermind being able to see perfectly fine in this. You breathe very loudly, worm monkey." Zim added, and his spider legs shot out of his Pak and dug into the tree.

"Run."

The word caught Dib by surprise, and only when he saw Zim crouching as if to pounce did he whirl around and take off through the forest in a panic. Why did Zim always have to take competitions so freaking _seriously_? He knew if he was caught the Irken would drag him back to the campfire to declare his success, and Dib didn't really feel like being dragged through a forest in the middle of the night by an alien intent on the hunt.

But on the flip side, damn was running from him exhausting.

Crashing through a bush and zigzagging between tree trunks, Dib heard no sound of pursuit behind him- but somehow he knew. He _knew_ Zim was effortlessly keeping stride with him, and when a gloved hand reached down from a branch ahead to snag him, he only narrowly limbo-d under the grasp. Dashing through the forest like a rabbit flushed from hiding, Dib prayed the whistle would blow soon so he could stop and vomit, and then catch his breath. Risking a glance behind him, Dib saw only the stirred leaves upon the ground indicating where he'd blundered through, and he looked forward again in time to run smack into a wall of squishy red.

"Heh, well whatta you know- looks like he found us, M." Dib heard a familiar voice say, and looked up through blurred vision to see a rough likeness of Chunk leering down at him. Scrabbling around in the dirt for his glasses, Dib grabbed them by the lenses and put them on, vision now improved but also smudged and dirty.

M was leaning against a tree in the background wearing a purple jersey, looking like he wanted no part of whatever Chunk was planning. If anything, he seemed a little apologetic as Dib was grabbed by the front of his shirt and hauled into the air, legs dangling. "I hope the raccoons still have room for more." Chunk said with a sneer, and began walking towards a tree with a branch low enough for him to reach but too high for Dib to touch the ground.

"_Excuse_ me. That pathetic excuse for prey was mine first." Dib heard from above him, and all three kids looked up to see Zim sitting lazily halfway up the tree. He'd had the common sense to put his contacts back in, but Dib thought he'd never looked more obviously alien in his disguise than he did now in the dark.

"So? He ran into us...uh...second! We're getting the points from capturing him." Chunk argued stupidly, drooling a little towards the end of his sentence. Zim's eyes narrowed, and he hopped from branch to branch down to the floor.

"_I. Found him. First._" Zim ground out, stepping forward angrily. "_ZIM_ will get the points to win this ridiculous game. _ZIM_ will beat all of you filthies. It's a pride thing, really." The Irken admitted, coming to a stop in front of Chunk. "Oh, and... no one will believe you." Zim tacked on, before launching into action.

Dib hit the ground with an "Oof!" as Chunk was sent flying a couple feet backwards from Zim's shove, and then Dib felt himself being carted through the air by the back of his shirt.

"Zim! Put me down! You jerk!" Dib yelled angrily, but the Irken merely continued back towards camp at a leisurely pace through the canopy using his spider legs.

"Be quiet or I'll drop you." Zim threatened flatly, and Dib crossed his arms and huffed.

"No you won't. I know you wouldn't." Dib said stubbornly, and Zim seemed to ponder his words for a moment.

"Yes, yes. You are correct. However," Zim paused, and in the interim Dib's head collided with a branch, "I may _accidentally_ lose my grip from time to time, which would unfortunately cause your titanically large head to be hit by trees."

Dib grumbled quietly to himself, knowing the Irken could hear every insult directed at him. Soon the glow from the fire filtered through the treeline, and Dib was dropped unceremoniously into the firelight with another "Oof" and a stick poking his side.

"ZIM has captured this child of meat and dirt! What is my prize?" The Irken announced from Dib's left, and Dib remained lying on the floor shooting a sullen look up at his friend. The counselor on the log spasmed and flailed around for a moment, but upon seeing Dib plopped grumpily on the ground and Zim standing victoriously beside him, relaxed minutely.

"Ah. We haven't had a successful capture in a while now- most of the time the kids just run long enough to hear the whistle, or hide well enough to never be found. And sometimes, they really are never found..." The teenager trailed off eerily at the end of his sentence with wide eyes, but perked back up immediately. "But, it looks like we have a winner!" he exclaimed delightedly.

"Yes. Zim _is_ a winner." Zim proclaimed self-righteously and nodded, kicking Dib gently with his boot when the human made a sarcastic "Pffft." noise from his place on the ground.

"Well, I'd love to reward you, but we actually don't have a set prize for winning manhunt! We consider the prize to be bragging rights and glory. Is that all right with you?" The counselor asked uncertainly, watching Zim's expression cloud momentarily.

"Yes...yes..._YES!_ GLORY FOR ZIM!" The Irken screamed, and a couple of the students who had given up early and were returning looked surprised that one of the class rejects had actually won something.

Dib finally bothered to get up, and dusted himself off. "Zim, you're a total jerk." Dib said, not really meaning it as the alien turned to him with a broad grin.

"Perhaps so, human. But Zim is a jerk with GLORY!" Zim yelled again, and Dib rolled his eyes. The counselor blew the whistle and gradually the players began to return, those in the blue jerseys appearing relieved at being spared the same fate as Dib.

Chunk and M finally traipsed out of the forest, Chunk stuttering madly and covered in dirt and leaves, while M just seemed dumbstruck. The two of them looked at Zim and paled a little, and the Irken gave an unsettling zipper-like smile.

"Round two is now beginning, children. This time it is...yellow team's turn to flee like animals!" The counselor announced after drawing another color, and Zim and Dib grinned. They'd make an unstoppable team; it seemed as though they'd be racking in a whole lot of glory that night.

* * *

And gain glory they did. Working together like clockwork (except for one match when red was to be hunted, and nobody was able to find Zim even though every single student looked) Dib and Zim captured and dragged back at least one person every round, sometimes two. So when the students were finally dismissed from the campfire to return to their rooms, a few grudging congratulations were reluctantly thrown their way. Strutting back to the house together, Dib and Zim laughed and talked like any normal pair of friends. Things had really changed in the space of a few days.

"Heh, yeah, Melvin screamed so loud when you dropped down in front of him and I jumped on him from behind." Dib agreed with a laugh, and he slowed down as the house came into view. "Hey, Zim?" he asked slowly.

"Yes, Dib friend?" Zim responded, still seeming in good spirits from all the "glory" he'd attained.

"When we all leave the day after tomorrow to go back home...we're not going to go back to being enemies, are we?"

Dib knew Zim had heard him but the alien kept on walking, up the steps and through the door, not stopping as Dib tailed him into their shared room. Only once Dib shut the door did Zim take out his contacts and pull off his wig and look directly at Dib.

"Dib, what do you see?" he asked simply, crossing his arms and tapping a foot.

Dib stared. Well, he saw an _alien_, duh. But...but he also saw a friend. Something he'd never had before. "I see a short as hell green space boy striving to please a race that doesn't appreciate him enough. I see a friend as well." Dib answered honestly, trying to gauge Zim's reaction.

"What you _should_ see is a member of an enemy race intent on the conquering of the entire universe. You should see your most hated enemy. Why do you see otherwise now, Dib worm?" Zim asked, and Dib saw his antennae raise and lower unevenly. Confusion, maybe?

"Well, because...I don't know. Because I can hang out with you in a way nobody else would ever let me, I guess. You're not as bad as I always used to make you out to be." Dib said, shifting his weight to his other foot. "You're smart when you feel like being smart, and I think that if you really were hell bent on conquering Earth, you could- so, Zim, why haven't you?" he asked, giving Zim an inquisitive look.

"Because, Earth dirt! It is Zim's ...eh...desire to destroy this ball of mud with the _most ingenious plan ever!_ I simply haven't thought of the most perfect one just yet!" The Irken yelled, and Dib frowned and crossed his arms.

"Ok, so what's the real reason?" Dib asked again flatly.

Zim narrowed his eyes at the human, and Dib watched the moonlight reflect off them in interest. How he could ever tell where the alien was looking he didn't know, but he knew then that Zim's crimson orbs were drilling into him as the Irken thought.

"...Its just that, if Zim destroyed the Earth, he'd have no one. Well, I'd have Gir, but an _eternity_ with him? I'd put myself out of my misery quickly enough." the Irken finally caved under Dib's disbelieving glare, and grumbled out the truth. "You're right- my leaders don't appreciate me. No one on Irk does. I've actually caused several problems over the course of my existence, so I'm not surprised by that." Zim said regretfully, tossing his wig and contacts onto his nightstand and slumping a little at the conversation.

"Well...whatever to all that stuff- you never answered my question. When we get back, would it be hypothetically possible for us to go to Bloaty's every now and then without shooting lasers or screaming or blowing things up?" Dib repeated, heading to his own nightstand and pulling out a clean pair of pajamas.

"I suppose that could be... amenable." Zim said after a pause, and Dib whooshed out a sigh, glad he hadn't lost the first and only friend he'd ever made. Heading into the bathroom, Dib tossed his clothes onto the counter and turned on the shower for a short rinse off. Washing his hair was pointless as he'd just be in the water again tomorrow, but he did run the water through it to rinse off the sweat from manhunt. Finishing and pulling on his night clothes, Dib grabbed one of the standard white hotel towels and rubbed his hair dry. It stuck up everywhere, but he didn't care; it wouldn't matter what it looked like when he was in the ocean.

Leaving the bathroom to see Zim sitting cross legged on his bed in his pajamas, Dib realized something.

"Zim! You used your spider leg thingies back in the forest. Don't tell me my shirt..." Dib trailed off with an aggravated noise as Zim "Hm?"-d innocently and picked up the red tee from the floor.

"Oh, yes, completely ruined. For you, at least. Zim said with a chuckle, turning it around so Dib could see four holes punched in the back from where the legs must have torn through.

"Ugh, just keep it. I prefer blue anyway." Dib grumped, flopping down on his bed across the room. "I'm exhausted, so I'm going to bed now." he notified the Irken, and dug under the covers and curled up.

"What do you mean you're "going to bed"? You are already there, idiotic human." he heard Zim point out from across the room.

"It means going to sleep, moron. Goodnight." Dib found the energy to reply, and took off his dirty glasses and placed them on the table with a yawn. He'd need to clean those tomorrow...

"Goodnight, Dib stink."

At least tonight's goodnight had been a _little_ more civil than last night's.

* * *

Sorry this chapter is a bit late, but I've been busy. I'm going on vacation for a week tomorrow, but I'm bringing my laptop so I'll still try to get some stuff done. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, and the few new people who did as well :) you guys all rock so hard. I appreciate all the patience, too. I'm thinking this story has maybe one or two more chapters left before its done, so thanks to everybody for sticking with me- it means a lot c:


	8. A Tan and Revenge

_**ATTENTION! A Doom Filled Trip has FANART!** **:D **_*squee* Credit and endless thanks goes out to **HyperSpooches58** for creating this awesome piece featuring a manhunt scene from last chapter. Now, because FF net doesn't let me do links, I'm going to spell some of it out here for you guys. Just take out the spaces and put in what I spelled, and enter it in your browser bar. It should come up. I also have this link up on my account info page if this doesn't work for you, so go look for it there. It's right below my author updates.

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h double-t p semicolon double/ izshippingfanon dot wikia dot com / wiki / File:2012-07-22_00.21.51. jpg

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_"Crash!"_

A raucous splintering of wood woke Dib, and the boy flailed around under his covers frantically before snatching up his glasses and peering at whatever had made the offending noise.

A smoking meteor lay on the floor in the middle of the room, and Dib only tore his eyes from it when he noticed Zim calmly sit up and also observe the object.

"Aha! It's here!" the alien interjected, and Dib wondered if he'd heard right.

"_What's_ here?" he asked sleepily, but received no reply as Zim scuttled over to it with a flurry of clicking claws and tapped the outer surface of the space rock. At his touch, a hairline crack split the surface and it crumbled open, revealing a small tan package. The Irken's antennae were perked up in excitement as he grabbed it and carried it over to his bed, eagerly shredding it open and digging through the packing peanuts and pulling out...hair?

"Zim...is that another wig?" Dib queried in disbelief. Where the hell had it come from? If this was what Zim had ordered the other morning, how had it gotten here so fast?

"Indeed, smell beast! But it is not just _any_ wig." Zim said mysteriously, holding the hairpiece in the air reverently. "It is a wig that will stay on my head in the water without requiring painful glue!" He shouted triumphantly, and placed it on. Zim then pressed a small button somewhere on the back, and attempted to pull it off. No such luck, and he grinned. "Success!" he screamed, clenching a fist and shaking it. Dib rolled his eyes at the display and pulled his glasses back off, frowning at the filth coating them. Now that the excitement of the morning had died down, Dib realized he was a slight red color and groaned inwardly. At least it wasn't a terrible burn, but it still stung.

Getting out of bed and trotting to the bathroom to rinse his glasses off, he looked over his shoulder at the alien occupied with pulling the wig on and off experimentally, and then up at the hole in the ceiling where sunlight was filtering through. "Zim, use your glue and fix that hole in the roof." Dib requested. The Irken looked sullen at the task, but sighed and fished a glue bottle out of his bag and grabbed the planks of splintered wood off the floor. Extending up on his spider legs, Zim began to glue the slats back into place half assedly while Dib blurrily watched before continuing on into the bathroom.

Idly wondering how the wig accomplished what it did, Dib noticed the pairs of swim trunks hanging on the rack on the door. Pulling Zim's pair off, he opened the door again and tossed them blindly into the room with a "Get dressed and pasted." A shriek of outrage told him he had managed to actually hit the Irken with the clothing somehow, and Dib slithered quickly back into the bathroom with a dark chuckle to wash his glasses and get changed into his own swimwear.

Stepping out after taking care of his routine morning hygiene he saw Zim fidgeting with the tie on his pants, and looked at the ceiling. Well, the repairs weren't beautiful, but at least it would keep the raccoons out. A noise of triumph brought Dib's gaze to the Irken again, and Dib noticed something; Zim was a few shades darker green than he typically was.

"Zim, are you sunburned?" Dib asked in wonder, and Zim looked up from taking his contacts off the nightstand.

"If sunburned means having a most unpleasant sensation of burning pain all over one's body, then yes. Zim is quite sunburned." The alien conceded, stuffing his contacts in. "And you are red. I assume you are sunburned as well, foolish human?" Zim questioned, crossing his skinny arms and tapping his foot.

"Yeah, a little. I'll be tan by the time we get back though! You'll just be even greener!" Dib replied cheekily, rooting through his bag for a towel, goggles, and his sunscreen. He heard Zim do the same, and eagerly thought of the ocean that awaited them. "Come on, let's get out of here. The cereal in the kitchen is calling." Dib quipped, and darted toward the door. Just as his hand landed on the knob, a sharp jerking pain had him landing on his rear as he looked up at Zim. "Dude, what gives?" Dib demanded angrily, rubbing where Zim had yanked his hair scythe.

"The other dirt children have not yet left. Or would you prefer to have your head dunked in a bowl of milk instead of a toilet?" The Irken asked flatly, and Dib's confused expression cleared with an "Oh." of understanding.

Looking around the room, Dib seemed at a loss for a second until an idea seemed to occur to him. "Hey, I know how to pass the time until they leave. Let me see your hand."

At this Zim immediately recoiled in suspicion, eying Dib mistrustfully. "Why?" He asked simply, still keeping his arms crossed defensively.

"Oh come on, what do you think I'm going to do? Bite it off?" Dib said in exasperation. Ignoring the Irken's vehement protesting, Dib managed to wrench one of Zim's hands close enough for him to inspect.

It was the same green as the rest of him, aside from the slightly darker skin on the back where it had "tanned" in yesterday's sun. Dib carefully took one of the three fingers and looked at it intently, curiosity getting the better of him despite riling the Irken up. Out of the corner of his eye Dib noticed Zim's antennae pinned straight back, but the alien seemed to be holding himself back from clawing Dib so the human took little notice of his friend's mild rage. The tips of Zim's fingers didn't have talons or actual claws so much as they were just pointed, the skin at the ends hard and sharp enough to not need true talons. Releasing the one finger and manipulating all three independently, Dib tried to imagine what the bone structure of an Irken hand would be like with only three fingers, as opposed to five.

Fascinating.

Zim glared harshly at the human, barely tolerating Dib's open intrusion. "Human, this is not a way to pass the time. Release Zim immediately." he ordered, watching Dib drop the hand instantly and look up placatingly.

"It kept _me_ busy. Are they gone yet? If not, I wanna look at your antennae next."

The nerve of that insufferable Earth monkey! They may have been friends, but Zim wasn't poking at Dib's hands or messing with his weird head fur! Snorting in irritation, Zim listened for sounds emanating from the kitchen, and upon hearing nothing opened the door and stepped out himself. "They are gone. Eat your Captain Whatever, and let us leave."

Dib seemed a little disappointed at the lost opportunity, but decided that messing with Zim's antennae was something that should wait until they were more comfortable around one another anyway. He didn't want to be on the receiving end of the claws he'd been lucky enough to have just examined, after all.

Pulling out the cereal from the day before and making himself a bowl, Dib picked up the pace of his consumption when a clearly impatient clicking began to resound from by the door where Zim stood. Tossing everything back where it belonged, Dib hurried up to the alien and out the door, a quiet "Finally!" audible from the Irken. Together the unlikely duo pushed and shoved each other the entire way to the shore, trading insults and the occasional arm jab.

Another fun day in the sun awaited.

* * *

Zim and Dib ended their second day at the retreat much the same way they had ended their first. The two of them had spent nearly the entire day in the water (save for a lunch break for the pitiful nutrient-requiring human) and the result was a combination sunburn/tan that had the two of them wincing with every stretch of skin. The campfire game that night had been a more tame contest of charades and Dib had surprisingly gotten a few of them, but Zim failed miserably. Much to his surprise and indignation, each of the children was in in fact _not_ miming out "human slave."

So now they walked back to the room together, so stuffed with smores Zim had to stop and almost vomit before pushing the urge away and declaring himself in good health.

"Human, continue on to the room alone as I need to make a transmission to Gir. I have to make sure he hasn't destroyed anything in my absence." The Irken directed and Dib shrugged.

"Ok, see you there. Don't be long- the raccoons are around." Dib pointed out, walking past Zim and towards their assigned lodge.

Zim nodded, and stepped past the treeline. Once he was sufficiently hidden from sight, the alien pulled out his communicator and cleared his throat. "Gir? Come in, Gir."

A fizz of static was all that was heard for a while, until a click sounded and a voice happily screeched "MASTAH! You's alive!"

Zim dragged a clawed hand along his face with an expression of forced patience. "I never died, Gir. I TOLD YOU- I left for a filthy human trip for three days. I am returning tomorrow. I trust all things are well and in _working order_?" Zim said, threat lightly veiled in his tone.

"Ohhh, about that...there's a loooooot of tacos waitin' for you, mastah." Gir said cryptically, and giggled.

"What are you talking about, Gir? If you've done anything to- wait a second...Gir, I have to go. DO. NOT. DESTROY. ANYTHING." Zim enunciated, hanging the line up. Taking his wig off for a moment, he tilted his head and pricked his antennae.

Far off in the distance, a muffled cry was heard followed by a thumping noise. A snicker of laughter floated on the breeze, and Zim snarled. He knew that horrible voice. Extending his spider legs and taking off across the rooftops towards Dib, Zim bared his teeth in anger. So, the fattish meat child wished to invoke his ultimate wrath? So be it.

Just before Zim could bust in through the door, something caused him to halt. _"My clothing!" _The realization dawned upon him instantly, and he frowned. _"The pig smelly will recognize Zim by his clothing...what to do..."_ The Irken fretted, racking his brain in thought.

Of course! The Dib beast's bag! There had to be an outfit in there he had yet to wear, and if Zim could toss on one of his shirts, the fools would be none the wiser. Opening the door and creeping into their shared room, Zim grit his teeth to ignore the muffled and haughty-sounding voice drifting through the wall from Chunk's room. Digging through the Dib's bag, Zim tossed any undesired clothing across the room until he pulled out a modest enough solid blue tee. Ugh, _blue_. Well, it would have to do for now.

Slipping it on, Zim dug through his own bag and pulled out his standard Invader uniform pants. Selecting them because they were an inconspicuous enough black, Zim hurried into those as well and pulled out his contacts. Slamming them and the wig down on his nightstand, Zim straightened up with a fire of rage burning in his crimson eyes.

The awful filth monkey would pay dearly for injuring his newly found friend. _Nobody_ crossed theoretical blades with an Irken Elite.

Dashing out of the room, Zim darted through the main dwelling and positioned himself against the closed and locked door to Chunk and M's living space. M was not present, which Zim found fortunate; M was not altogether as intolerable as the other filthies in his class, so his being spared was not a regrettable circumstance. A few seconds of silence passed, Dib's quicker than normal breathing being the only frightened sound to fill the room. Then:

"Heh, no Zim here to save your sorry paranormal ass this time. Would you prefer I give you a matching broken rib on your left side, or would you like to get the toilet dunking over with first?" Chunk asked in a tormentingly amiable voice, and Zim made a fist and prepared to punch the door off it's hinges until he heard Dib's rebuttal.

"I'd prefer for you to go drown yourself in the ocean, actually. And do you ever shower? You reek." Despite the tense situation, Zim had to cover his mouth to hold in the cackle that threatened to escape. The human did have some fire in him after all. Wasting no time however, as Chunk would surely punch the Dib for such a comment, Zim kicked the door in violently.

His suspicions were proven true, as the door flying into the corner of the room with a loud bang caused Chunk to lower his raised fist. Zim made his dramatic entrance after a few seconds of stunned silence. From the darkness of the living room, all that was heard was an ominous _"Click. Click. Click." _that drew ever closer to Chunk and Dib. Chunk looked like he was about to relieve himself in his pants, while Dib grinned at the sound through the pain of a damaged rib and whatever else had been done to him by this...this...

"Stupid, red, fat, ugly, horrible, smelly rude ball of COW MANURE!" Zim screamed in anger, clicking over to loom above Chunk atop his spider legs. Chunk paled at the sight of the predatory looking Irken- Zim's lips were pulled up into a prominent snarl, his antennae were pinned back aggressively, his claws flexed in anticipation, his ruby eyes were narrowed into enraged slits, and a hiss rolled off his tongue in pure anger. Even Dib looked a little uneasy at the visage, obvious from the way he held his breath and took a few steps back. "_You_, filthy dirt child of smell, have angered the mighty Z-...uh, Zambidio! And before I take you out into the forest to be fed to raccoons, I have something _vitally_ important to impart to you."

Chunk quivered and stuttered a little as Zim leaned down closer to his ear. "Your mother is so fat, she irons her pants in the driveway." The Irken said in a stage whisper, and from the corner of his eye he saw Dib double over in silent laughter which quickly turned into pain as he held his side. Through toying with the miserable excuse for a lifeform, Zim used a spider leg to blast a hole through the roof with a laser. Grabbing Chunk by the back of his shirt and making sure his claws dragged most painfully across his skin in the process, Zim launched himself out of the hole and into the night, Chunk screaming like a four year old girl until his voice faded in the distance.

Dib looked up at the hole, clutching his side from both mirth and the pain resulting from said mirth. Where in the _world_ had Zim picked up a your momma joke? Regardless, Dib once again owed it to Zim for saving him- mostly- from an otherwise unpleasant beating session. As it was, Dib gingerly lifted up his shirt and made a face at the bruise on his torso. He doubted the rib was actually broken, but he would definitely be sore for a good while from that one. Looking around the room, Dib decided he'd have his revenge against Chunk while he still could.

Pulling out the boy's small suitcase, Dib dragged it out the front door and down the steps. Steadily he began the process of dumping sand, dirt, bugs, leaves, and anything else he could find into the suitcase, and he made sure all the clothes got a healthy heaping of sand inside and out as well. Standing up and grinning in satisfaction at his handiwork, he began trying to lug the significantly heavier suitcase back up the stairs.

A sudden lightness made Dib think perhaps the handle had broken off, but looking back he saw Zim's red eyes glowing at him in amusement as the alien hefted the bag over his shoulder and easily toted it inside, dropping it onto Chunk's bed. Dib followed, impressed by the ease with which Zim carried the dozens of pounds of sand and clothes (although he'd never admit it!) and once Zim had fwumped the suitcase down, Dib trotted over and swished some of the sand out and into the bed just for spite.

Zim gave a quiet laugh of approval at this, and he nudged Dib. "Your debt is now twofold, human." he reminded him, and Dib nodded not unhappily. Zim would probably use his repayments up in some stupid manner anyway, like having him babysit Gir or do his homework.

Leaving the room with Zim following behind, Dib thought of something. "Hey, where's M? Can you hear him?"

Zim concentrated quietly for a minute, and then nodded. "Heading back from getting a drink of water from that fountain outside the main building. So I'd best be concealing myself before he returns." Zim responded, pushing past Dib and into the room, shutting and locking the door behind them.

"So, what did you do to Chunk anyway?" Dib asked curiously.

"Oh, "Zambidio" just gave him a taste of his own medicine is all." Zim answered with a malicious grin spreading across his face.

* * *

Meanwhile...

"Heeeelp! Somebody, help! Some crazy green alien thing stuck me up here and I can't get down! HEEEEELP!" Chunk shouted while suspended by his shirt from a branch, falling silent when a pair of yellow eyes peered at him from the darkness of a nearby tree.

"No...not the raccoons...!"

* * *

"Smell monkey. Smell monkey. SMELL MONKEY, GET UP." Zim shouted impatiently into Dib's ear, feeling a twinge of evil satisfaction when Dib swung out with his pathetic attempt at a fist and missed the Irken by a mile. He grumped incoherently, something about "stupid aliens" and "at least I can turn my alarm clock off" before burying himself deeper in the covers and pointedly ignoring the Irken.

Zim snorted, and walked back across the room nonchalantly. "Very well human, sleep if you so desire. But we only have a few hours before the bus arrives to take us back to the filthy skool, and I intend to spend it on the beach." That proved to be the right bait, as Dib leapt up and scrambled into the bathroom. Zim smirked at the human's almost stupid eagerness before painting himself in paste and pulling on his swim trunks. Inspecting his arm, he noticed he indeed was a shade darker, and where his swim trunks sat on his hips and ended at his knees was where his normal lighter color remained. A "tan line", the Dib had called it.

Shrugging, he listened to the banging around in the bathroom with mild interest before switching his attention over to the neighboring room, angling his antennae to pick up the frantic voice within.

"And I swear, M, it was a huge green scaly alien that breathed fire and had extra legs!"

Zim rolled his eyes; the only accurate part of that sentence was "green" and "extra legs." But still, the worm baby sounded sufficiently petrified and Zim nodded, pleased with himself. M was giving short, awkward sounding one word answers, and Zim smirked even wider at the justice of it all; now Chunk knew how Dib must feel on a daily basis.

Tuning the fool out, Zim looked up as Dib exited the bathroom with his goggles already on. Grabbing a towel out of his drawer he motioned for the Irken to hurry up. Zim made an aggravated noise at the gesture, but began getting his own things together while Dib tramped around in the kitchen preparing his breakfast. Popping his contacts in and snapping his wig and own goggles on, Zim picked up his last clean towel- also his favorite, due to the rich red color with the Irken insignia printed on it- and headed out.

Dib had truly become a master at speed eating, for by the time the Irken considered showing his annoyance at having to wait, Dib had finished and was running out the door ahead of him. Not to be outdone, Zim raced after him and the two engaged in a headlong sprint to the beach, sun shining brightly overhead promising a good last day.

* * *

The bus ride home had been uneventful, aside from Dib falling asleep on Zim and the Irken pushing the human back against the bus window with a look of disgust. Zim himself also went into stasis for the majority of the ride, feeling uncharacteristically drained of energy from the three nonstop days of fun. The jolting of the bus stopping outside the skool brought both beings back to consciousness, and Zim and Dib exited the bus after the line of students shuffled by, Chunk at the end looking rather scratched and bitten up and seeming terrified at the mere sight of them.

Hopping off the bus, Zim and Dib casually walked back together to Zim's house, chatting companionably the whole way. Rounding the corner onto his street, they both stopped short and gaped at the sight they beheld. Or rather, _didn't_ behold.

"GIR_!__!_ WHY IS THE BASE EXPLODED!_?_!_?_"

_~The end~_

* * *

So, a biiiig section of thank-yous and shoutouts and such is going here. Prepare thineselves.

Tinowenn: You've reviewed every chapter faithfully, and I enjoy seeing your icon pop up each time. It makes me smile :D Thanks for sticking with me! Mimi-loves-llamas: You too have been a repeat reviewer I look forward to hearing from, and am glad you always have positive, motivating things to say c: HyperSpooches58: Not only can I thank you for the _incredible_ fanart, but I can also say that I thoroughly enjoy seeing your penname in the new reviews for my chapters :3 Thanks oodles for everything~ Kazehana23: I enjoy reading your speculations on what is to come in future chapters and seeing your penname on my review list. I'm glad you've liked the story so much so far; I hope the ending pleases you as well. :) Madame Tiptory: Your reviews are always insightful and encouraging, and they're a better pick-me-up than you can imagine. Thanks for your opinions :D RandomTwilitDude and Ruler of All Sporks: Together, the two of you helped me think of the final ending scene; the blown up base xD So thanks for that little bit of inspiration- it went a long way :3 AshSpark: Yet another penname I look forward to seeing every time I upload a chapter. Thank you for being a fantastic repeat reviewer c: PuddingNinja: Very nice little reviews, the humor you often include in them usually gives me a good laugh xD Thankyouuu~ That one guest review who fretted over their review being stupid: It _wasn't._ I promise. I loved seeing a new face chime in their thoughts :)

**And all the other reviewers who pitched in here and there, I give you my thanks and appreciation :D** Invader Phoenix, A Scribbler, Lostseason, OneDayAtATime, Kurakun1019, Yanagi of the Wind, InsomniaticFrenchToast, Snowyflake, Alicia, Tallest Aqua, Cloudy Momochi, Cooljoe64, Snowsky, BizarroVeR, and **all** the guests who reviewed anonymously!

Phew. Well, that looks like everyone, haha. I'm glad everyone has enjoyed this work so much, and I hope the last chapter is satisfactory for you all :) But wait, THERE'S MORE! (sort of) If you liked this story, stay tuned; I'm going to be starting some new ones up, and I feel as though you'll like those as well. So, all my buddies on this story, I look forward to seeing you on my next pieces :3 (which, if all goes well, should be started within a few days. Just keep checking my page/author updates for info.) **THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYBODY! :D**


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